(Content tags: this article contains discussion of sex, masturbation, mental health diagnoses, C-PTSD, size dysmorphia and AiWS, dissociation, burnout, panic attacks, grief, and shame, balanced with a variety of positive emotions like gratitude, hope, and determination.)
Instructions for Living A Life:
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.
—Mary Oliver
Achievements in context
This has been a difficult year for so many. As I see the 2022 retrospectives roll past on the timeline, I feel a mix of pride in myself and my own accomplishments, and a wish that I could put some of it in context for anyone else out there who also feels inadequate. If you feel like you haven’t done enough, or if you’re afraid to take a break because you won’t be productive, this is for you.
This year I wrote more fiction than I ever have in my life, more than 120,000 words. That’s clocking in at 2.4 NaNoWriMos! I published 80,000 words to this blog. I recorded and edited six author-read audio tracks. I also wrote a significant amount of nonfiction, including three free community resources, one of which I presented at SizeCon.
Fiction, poetry, and audio:
- Dear Professor, Chapters 1-3
- Woman in Ecstasy, Chapters 1-5 + 5 audio tracks
- If you Could Be a Sex Toy
- Anne & the King’s Miniaturist + audio track
- Size Poem: Tits & A Shrinking Kink
- Dare You Not to Grow, Chapters 1-2, still being released
Nonfiction:
- Embracing My Inner Size Slut
- Content Tags: Accessibility, Edgeplay, & Surprise Sex
- Hiatus How To: When, how & why to take a break from NSFW Twitter
- NSFW Twitter Tips & SizeTwitter Guide, presented at SizeCon 2022
I’m very proud of this achievement. And a lot of it has only been possible because my life happened to fall apart in a very specific way. There’s some socioeconomic privilege at work here, and other factors I won’t share for privacy reasons.
My life was in upheaval this year. I experienced two traumatic losses, one of which was to due to COVID in spite of vaccines and boosters. When the living situation at our last place became untenable, my polycule moved again for the second year in a row. I burned out completely on my entire nonprofit career, had two full breakdowns, and took five hiatuses from Twitter/writing that amounted to at least six months of “unproductive” rest and healing.