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Tag: M/f

Kinky Scribbles: Body Pillow

Today’s kinky scribble is brought to you by my cold, frustrated sizefeels this morning. Thanks, size dysmorphia.

And far more sincere thanks to my friend Dick, the Micro Giant, who let me roleplay this little comfort scene off and on today to work through these feelings.

Ten minutes. Just a scribble. Let go of whatever you think this needs to be, Elle. Just write.

(Ten minutes turned into an hour and a half of writing, with another half hour of edits. I never know if I should feel pleased at my accomplishment when this happens, or annoyed with my inability to keep my projects small. I do feel really good about this one, though.)


Kinky Scribbles: Body Pillow

(M/f, male Giant, female tiny, shrinking, cuddles, comfort)
1020 words, est. 1.5 hours of writing, 0.5 hours of editing

Kinky Scribbles: First Kiss

I have had the good luck to end up with a writing coach for the month of January, and she’s helping me figure out ways to lower the stakes of writing more often, both for erotica and for my mainstream projects.

Step one is to attempt what I’m calling “writing scribbles” that will be quick, short, relatively unplanned, and can have only one round of edits before sharing with the world.

This is basically what I achieved many times over with Tumblr’s format, and what I’ve been avoiding with my shiny personal website for the last year. As if I went from a commuter train full of conversations with friends and acquaintances I see regularly, to a personal vehicle where I make all the decisions of where to go, and I do it alone, and have to roll down the window or deliberately invite people inside to talk to them. It’s clunky, lonely, and it feels like the stakes are higher (silly ideas about identity, success, connection) if I decide to go in the wrong direction or say the wrong thing.

Fuck the wrong thing. Nothing is wrong–it’s either unethical, painful, uncomfortable, or various shades of awkward. I might regret a thing, but who cares? It’s on my website, and I’m in control of whether or not it continues to see the light of day. I’m going to take the steps to make sure it’s as ethical as I can make it, by offering tags and informed consent and giving credit to other writers and artists. As for pain, that can heal. Discomfort and awkwardness are also hallmarks of change and growth. Nobody ever made progress or created something wonderful by staying 100% comfortable.

Scribbles can be drawing, writing, any kind of creative art. The point is that it has to be quick, simple, and low-stakes.

At this point in my process, I’m not allowed to turn it into a big thing or make extra work for myself with extra ideas. I’m not adding it to my mainstream works. I’m sticking to kinky content only, because it’s the one kind of writing that brings me the most joy and escapism right now. And also because it’s a way to keep my scope small.

Ironically for someone with size dysmorphia, I have no idea how to keep my ideas and goals small.

I know how to “go big or go home” in other parts of my life, but over the years I’ve let it become too overwhelming with writing because I get cloudy with assumptions of what it means to be a writer and what it means to be “enough.” (Fuck you very much, Impostor Syndrome.) Even discussing the scribbles concept with the coach and how to fit 10 minutes into my schedule a week, I quickly morphed the discussion into how I could carve out 30 minutes a day, every day. When she pointed that out and reminded me that I am already enough regardless of how many minutes I can or can’t put into my schedule right now, I burst into tears.

Fuck going big all the time, fuck that overachiever mindset that’s burned me out so many times. Fuck the toxic productivity culture of never believing I’m enough.

I want to learn how to go small. I’m a sizeshifter, damnit. This is a skill I can develop, just like any other. I just need to find a way to show up and do the work without self-sabotaging all my efforts with last-minute deadline scrambles and other misguided attempts at staying comfortably far away from risk and failure.

Currents: An Erotic Giant Couple Story

Photo of a left hand with light brown skin holding a small green leaf. Beyond the hand are rocky stones of a lakeside shore. Beyond that is a calm grey lake with fog obscuring the horizon. Photo credit to Bhai Rankar of Unsplash, shared with a creative commons license: https://unsplash.com/photos/-AqJCy1-Nrc
Photo credit to Bhai Rankar of Unsplash, shared with a creative commons license: unsplash.com/photos/-AqJCy1-Nrc

 

“The characters were rich and they exploded off the page. There was so much emotion in every line, I could feel the writer’s heart pounding behind it.”

I’m proud to share “Currents,” my entry for the WritersOct18 SizeRiot Erotica Contest, hosted by the hardworking and talented Aborigen-gts​.

I’ve never received such overwhelmingly positive feedback for a story, and I’m deeply grateful to my beta readers and everyone who read my work and reviewed it. There seems to be genuine interest in more stories with these characters, so I plan to continue it as a series!

Would you be surprised to know that I nearly didn’t submit it? It’s been a hard few months (work stress, the Kavanaugh hearings, my family’s home flooding in Texas) and I didn’t feel it was my best work. I worried it wasn’t explicitly sexy enough, especially when folks who have followed my blog in the last couple of years know I’m capable of so much more.

I’m glad I took the risk and shared it, anyway. In the interest of cataloging evidence for the next time my Impostor Syndrome tries to talk me out of being creative…

My story placed in the following categories:

Best Fulfilled the ‘Big Couples’ Theme – Tied for First Place
Hooked Immediately – Tied for First Place
Characters to Care About – Tied for First Place
Engaging Writing Style – Second Place
Surprising Interpretation of Theme – Tied for Second Place
Recommended to Outsiders – Tied for Second Place
Most Outré – Tied for Third Place

Read the story here:

Currents

By Elle Largesse

Copyright 2018, all rights reserved.

Submission for SizeRiot’s Writer’s October 2018 Erotica Contest

Content warnings: Themes include macrophilia/growth, Giant couples, public sex, ethical nonmonogamy, and natural disaster

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to a 14-minute author-read version of the story here.

 

Originally posted to Tumblr on November 25, 2018.
 

ADULT CONTENT WARNING

This site includes content intended for adults only. Depending on your location, you must be at least 18 or 21 to enter. If you’re under 18 and are seeking sex positive resources, stop reading now and visit scarleteen.com.