I wrote this while releasing my story “Woman, in Ecstasy,” and it was so fascinating to explore that I realized it needed its own space to grow. Updated in January 2023 with more research.
(This blog post contains discussion of agency, bodily autonomy; nonconsensual themes in size play, hypnosis, mind control and bimbofication; discussion of research on sexual fantasies around forced sex; mentions of trauma and resources for survivors of sexual assault.)
Why am I writing a story about a woman losing her agency? Why am I releasing it right now, as American women are grieving the overturn of Roe v. Wade?
The short answer is that I began writing this back in April, and it’s done, and I want to share it.
The long answer? My body responds to fantasies about giving up control, especially when I’m stressed. I’m far from alone in this. Many people have fantasies about someone forcing them to do the sexy things they find most arousing. My first kink-informed therapist told me that she believed “it’s a way to give ourselves permission to explore pleasures that society tells us are taboo.”