Tag: mywriting

A clip from a classical painting, cropped to show the cleavage of a with pale white skin. She's wearing an elegant mahogany dress with a low square-cut neckline, a red shawl over her arms, and a pearl necklace with a carnelian pendant. Text reads MUTINY OF A MISTRESS, size kink and historical fiction by Elle Largesse. Original painting is Portrait of Madame Aymon, La belle Zélie by Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres, 1806.

Mutiny of a Mistress

Published by mightytinygiant on April 27, 2024

Hello, my lovely readers! I am back from a long and much-needed hiatus with a new story. Perfect for fans of Jane Austen and Bridgerton, this 4000-word erotica is my kinky idea of what a lady in the Regency Era might do with shrinking powers, if she were horny and fed up with the patriarchy. (Honestly, mood.)

Skip to the story content section if you want to jump right in. Mind the content tags!

This is the second in a series of historical erotica set in different time periods. The first was Anne and the King’s Miniaturist, a size kink scene between a Duchess and an artist with a secret, set quite literally against one of the most notorious paintings of King Henry VIII’s reign. I have plans for at least two more stories, so stay tuned.

And because I can’t help myself—dear reader, you know how I get off to essays about kink—here’s some background on why this story took me two years to publish, and thoughts about embracing the transgressive and monstrous fantasies of femmes.

When Darkness Lights Your Fire

I wrote this 4000-word story in December of 2022 after reading (and then immediately re-reading) the incredibly sexy queer historical romance A Lady for a Duke by Alexis Hall. I’d also been watching Bridgerton, featuring more than one plot about women scheming their way through the Regency Era social ladder. I found myself fantasizing about a woman using size kink magic in a role reversal, a moment of dominance in which she would fight for a better situation in a patriarchal world. My story felt dark and sexy and it turned me on, so I had no trouble putting words on the page.

Then, for various (internalized kink-shaming) reasons, I decided I should try to challenge myself to write a gentle version to release alongside it. After all, the book that put me in this mindset was full of sweet, earnest lovemaking. Surely I could do justice to a version of this story that followed a similar tone? I have so many friends who prefer gentle content, it seemed like a lovely option to offer.

I put in a couple months of work trying to figure out how to rework the characters’ motivations and get to some kind of angle that felt sexy. After all, I’m not heartless. I have two loving partners and enjoy sex with feelings all the time. I read plenty of romance novels—well, queer ones, anyway. So, why did I stall out 2000 words into the new draft? Why was I unable to make progress on it for an entire year?

I thought I could get myself interested again by watching all six hours of the 1995 BBC Pride & Prejudice with some lovely size writer friends on a Discord server. We even followed it up with the 2005 version that gave my younger self such a bisexual crisis with that sexy rain-drenched scene. I enjoyed the films and the company and the nerdy literary analysis. But in the back of my mind I kept asking myself why immersing myself in Regency Era romance for eight hours didn’t do the trick. I couldn’t even bring myself to open the document, let alone write a satisfactory gentle sexy scene. Why?

I have some theories. My therapist probably does, too.

And if you’re a fan of my work, you may have read my previous essays on the way nonconsensual fantasies turn me on in fantasy and horrify me in real life, and all the energy I have put into navigating that as consensually as possible. So, yeah. I have theories of why it was hard for me to wave the magic writing wand and produce a softer, safer, and more socially acceptable version of this story.

But honestly? It doesn’t really matter why the gentle fantasy isn’t exciting me. It’s not “lighting my fire,” as my partner pseudo put it so poetically.

The dark version excited me. A lot. It felt really fucking good to write it. It feels good to re-read it.

And after co-facilitating the Size Ladies and WLW socials at the wonderful SizeCon Micro last weekend, I had more than one excellent conversation with other women in this community who have similar struggles. How hard it can be to embrace our fantasies as they are, when we’re aware how much they deviate from socially acceptable scripts of womanhood. How frustrating it is that many men in the community want us to deliver a very specific version of a giantess “empowerment” fantasy on a silver platter that prioritizes their gaze and consumption. How it’s hard, sometimes, to even admit what really turns us on. Even to ourselves. How lonely that can get.

Many of us talked about how much it meant to us to discover other femmes making art and writing stories in the size kink world. Especially the creations that are unabashedly true to our own turn-ons, not just what we think we should want to write or draw.

It’s okay that I’m struggling with this. I’m writing about it here in this introduction for any other femme writer or artist out there who’s not sure if it’s okay to have these fantasies, if it’s okay to struggle with your own identity because of it. Well, it is okay. It’s okay to want something dark in your fantasy that turns you on, lights your goddamned fire. It’s okay to want something else entirely in real life. It’s okay to pleasure yourself to something dark and then cuddle lovingly with your partner.

It’s okay that I’m afraid you’ll think I’m a monster because I get off to something monstrous.

It reminds me of a scene in Ocean Vuong’s devastatingly good book On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous. (I do recommend this story, especially as an audiobook, but if you pick it up, mind the extensive content tags.)

“‘You’re not a monster,’ I said. But I lied. What I really wanted to say was that a monster is not such a terrible thing to be. From the Latin root monstrum, a divine messenger of catastrophe, then adapted by the Old French to mean an animal of myriad origins: centaur, griffin, satyr. To be a monster is to be a hybrid signal, a lighthouse: both shelter and warning at once.”

It reminds me of what my therapist taught me about anger, when I discovered how thoroughly angry I was all the time, and how I had been raised to stifle, numb, and ignore that emotion to appear more ladylike. “Anger is often a protection or a protest. Sometimes both. Who or what is your anger protecting? Who or what are you protesting?” I think of that often when I feel overwhelmed by fury and size and feel like a Giantess because of it. Shelter and warning at once.

A page later, Vuong writes, “Possessing a heartbeat is never as simple as the heart’s task of saying yes yes yes to the body.”

What else is a fantasy, but the mind’s way of saying yes to the pleasure of our bodies? Why is that so hard to admit to ourselves and to the world? How many fantasies become buried under the most ladylike word I know—“should”?

It’s never quite as simple to say yes to our bodies, and yes to our hearts at the same time. To trust that there will still be a place for us in our social circles if we are open about the things that turn us on. Sometimes safety comes before coming out. That’s just as true with “small” secrets like specific turn-ons as it is with sharing marginalized identities.

In these times especially, it feels vitally important to look our own darknesses in the eye, to own that we can be many things all at once. To really, truly own it. To understand that any one of us can be both shelter and warning, loving and monstrous, light and dark and all the points in-between.

Disclaimer & resources

Beyond the realm of fantasy, I do not condone sex acts without consent. Erotic fantasy play between two individuals in reality in person and online should always include negotiation, fully informed consent, and protections such as content tags, safewords, aftercare, and emergency planning.

If you or anyone you know has experienced sexual harassment, trauma, abuse, or assault, I strongly suggest seeking advice and counseling from trained professionals. These are usually free and confidential. Some organizations that offer free resources are: RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) hotline at 800-656-HOPE; National Sexual Violence Resource Center to search for local help; Trans Lifeline Crisis Hotline by and for the transgender community at 877-565-8860; National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

Artwork

The photo I used in the banner is from Portrait of Madame Aymon, La belle Zélie by Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres, 1806.

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have multiple works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. The few donations I get usually go right into commissioning art and paying beta readers. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

Buy me a coffee

Cash App

PayPal Elle Largesse

Story synopsis

Lillete has taken a lord for a lover, but he won’t consider marrying her and she’s fed up with the limits of her social station. In this darkly kinky role reversal and revenge story, watch her plan unfold to claim the life she always wanted. A story of shrinking and domination, set in Regency Era England.

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for this story include:

Content tags: F/m, shrinking to doll-sized, noncon, coercion, magic potion, teasing, domination, classism, misogyny, role reversal, revenge, punishment, mild fearplay, humiliation, tickling, masturbation, exhibitionism, cunnilingus, fellatio, insertion, entrapment, fucking the patriarchy

Read the story

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

AUDIO VERSION: I might record audio for this story. If I get enough requests, I will move it up on my priority list.

2022 Recap on Creativity & Rest

Elle leaning forward to show off her cleavage with D-cup breasts in black lingerie.

2022 Recap on Creativity & Rest

Published by mightytinygiant on January 1, 2023

(Content tags: this article contains discussion of sex, masturbation, mental health diagnoses, C-PTSD, size dysmorphia and AiWS, dissociation, burnout, panic attacks, grief, and shame, balanced with a variety of positive emotions like gratitude, hope, and determination.)

Instructions for Living A Life:

Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.

—Mary Oliver

Achievements in context

This has been a difficult year for so many. As I see the 2022 retrospectives roll past on the timeline, I feel a mix of pride in myself and my own accomplishments, and a wish that I could put some of it in context for anyone else out there who also feels inadequate. If you feel like you haven’t done enough, or if you’re afraid to take a break because you won’t be productive, this is for you.

This year I wrote more fiction than I ever have in my life, more than 120,000 words. That’s clocking in at 2.4 NaNoWriMos! I published 80,000 words to this blog. I recorded and edited six author-read audio tracks. I also wrote a significant amount of nonfiction, including three free community resources, one of which I presented at SizeCon.

Fiction, poetry, and audio:

Dear Professor, Chapters 1-3
Woman in Ecstasy, Chapters 1-5 + 5 audio tracks
If you Could Be a Sex Toy
Anne & the King’s Miniaturist + audio track
Size Poem: Tits & A Shrinking Kink
Dare You Not to Grow, Chapters 1-2, still being released

Nonfiction:

Embracing My Inner Size Slut
Content Tags: Accessibility, Edgeplay, & Surprise Sex
Hiatus How To: When, how & why to take a break from NSFW Twitter
NSFW Twitter Tips & SizeTwitter Guide, presented at SizeCon 2022

A horizontal graph showing word counts from 2021 compared to 2022. In 2021, Elle published 21,000 words of fiction compared to 60,000 in 2022. In 2021, she wrote 34,000 words in total and in 2022 she wrote 120,000 total. Please contact her if you'd like a full list of figures to compare. — Such a long bar graph you have, there. Is that a personal best wordcount in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

I’m very proud of this achievement. And a lot of it has only been possible because my life happened to fall apart in a very specific way. There’s some socioeconomic privilege at work here, and other factors I won’t share for privacy reasons.

My life was in upheaval this year. I experienced two traumatic losses, one of which was to due to COVID in spite of vaccines and boosters. When the living situation at our last place became untenable, my polycule moved again for the second year in a row. I burned out completely on my entire nonprofit career, had two full breakdowns, and took five hiatuses from Twitter/writing that amounted to at least six months of “unproductive” rest and healing.

Size Erotica: Anne & the King’s Miniaturist

A painting of a woman in a gold and red velvet gown with ornate embroidery, an elaborate gold cap and veil, and lots of jewelry. She is peaceful, with pale skin, dark eyes, no hair visible under her cap, and her hands folded demurely in her lap. Portrait by Hans Holbein the Younger, 1539.

Size Erotica: Anne & the King’s Miniaturist

Published by mightytinygiant on October 19, 2022

Once upon a time, I won a contest with a short scene between a shrunken artist and one of the future wives of Henry VIII. That was either two years ago or 482 years ago, depending on your perspective.

I love history and historical fiction, and was so excited when the theme of SizeRiot’s 2020 July Contest was announced to be history. I had studied Tudor history in college, but I wasn’t sure which topic to choose for my story until my metamour began listening to SIX: The Musical, about the six wives of Henry VIII. I loved the confident, empowered spin they put on Anne of Cleves living her best divorced life in “Get Down,” but it was the (admittedly ridiculous) “Haus of Holbein” that really got me thinking.

The key to the story came when I did more research and learned that the man who painted the fateful, controversial portrait of Anne was also famous for his miniatures. What if Hans Holbein was able to “raise the art of the portrait miniature to its first peak of brilliance,” according to one historian, because he had the ability to shrink? What if he kept that skill secret but was discovered? What would that moment be like? By the time I decided Hans had never before felt human contact while small, I was hooked on this idea.

Jump to the story, or scroll on for historical context and nerdery. (You won’t need it to enjoy the story, I promise.)

Inspired by true events

Legend has it that Anne of Cleves was the least attractive of the wives of Henry VIII. So naturally, I wanted to write a story where someone saw her beauty and found her compelling.

As the story goes, the king sent his favorite portrait artist Hans Holbein around Europe to paint pictures of the candidates for his fourth bride. When Holbein returned with the paintings, he was most impressed with Anne of Cleves and agreed to let his minister Cromwell arrange the marriage in winter of 1540. The legend would have us believe that Anne proved to be “ugly as a Flanders Mare,” as one historian insulted her centuries later. Henry was allegedly repulsed by her and annulled the marriage within six months so he could move on to one of Anne of Cleves’ more attractive ladies in waiting, Anne Howard.

The more I researched her story, the more I wanted to know about Anne of Cleves and what her life was like. The pieces fell into place when I learned a more likely chain of events from Dr. Katrina Marchant, shared in the 20-minute video below. In a nutshell: King Henry’s unrealistic expectations, his chivalric (and naïve) belief that true love will recognize itself even in disguise, and above all, his wounded masculine pride were the real problems in the situation. (CW for the video: descriptions of sexual assault, fat shaming, the king’s illness from a wound, and Henry being an unmitigated asshole.)

There was also the fact that Henry’s first three wives were all “small women” and Anne of Cleves was likely a taller German woman. If you happen to find that interesting at all.

Where was Anne in all of this? I agree with Dr. Marchant’s arguments that she was probably “not unpleasant to look upon.” But who was she? Was Anne shy? Bold? She was certainly sheltered, because of her culture’s traditions that had women largely sequestered in a Frauenzimmer, where men were forbidden. There’s some debate about whether Anne learned any kind of sex education in this setting. It was a point of contention during the annulment: did she know what was needed to produce an heir? Her ladies in waiting claimed that she believed a kiss was sufficient. I chose to write a story about an Anne who was, at the age of 25, still curious about men and their bodies.

I nearly titled my story “The King’s Miniaturist” because it reads easier. But to me the story was just as much about Anne of Cleves as it was about the artist who painted her. I may have written from Hans’ point of view—I couldn’t resist the poetic perspective of an artist, especially a tiny one—but it is not just his story. That felt important to me.

As for Hans Holbein the Younger, a German-Swiss painter considered one of the greatest portraitists of the 16th century, even if you haven’t heard of him you have probably still seen his work. He painted the most iconic images of Henry VIII, as well as Erasmus, Thomas More, and Thomas Cromwell, who arranged the marriage between Anne and Henry, and who Henry actually put to death after the annulment. (Hans remained alive, employed, and unpunished, more evidence to suggest that the painting was faithful and Henry was merely nursing his wounded pride.)

You may have noticed that I have not linked to the Wikipedia article about Hans. That’s because the only remaining portrait of him (giving his best bearded Bruce Willis impression) includes what is a truly unfortunate haircut by modern standards. And I honestly don’t want my readers to be distracted. Speaking of which, check out his artistic skill! What a lovely painting he created of Anne, am I right?

I dare you to click on the image to open up the full file, lean close, and soak in those details. (If that doesn’t work, you can see more detail on the website of the Louvre, where it lives today.)

Try to see the work through the eyes of an artist, someone who had to build this masterpiece one brushstroke at a time. Try to imagine how much easier it would be to paint such intricate work if you had the ability to close up your studio, lock the door, and shrink yourself in secret.

Reviews & Contest Feedback

One thing I miss the most about the SizeRiot contests was the feedback. If I had the energy, I would love to create some kind of writers’ circle within the size kink community that could help us trade feedback and grow as writers. I would not be the writer I am today without those contests, particularly the supportive feedback.

It took me several tries over two years to solve the issues that readers had with the original 2000-word story. I hope, if you gave me helpful feedback in 2020, that you feel this is a clearer, less rushed, and more polished rendition. I am grateful for your insight and kindness.

(Mild spoilers in the reviews)

“Took hold of me right away; loved the story of this teasing, lustful adventure.”

“A superbly written and penned piece; subtle, steeped in the history and significance of the time, and ultimately a very sultry extract from the lives of two people who may only have ever interacted with significance that one time… An enjoyable story with a saucy little ending. ”

“Delicious, like a piece of fruit. The writing lingers in the mind, mixes with reality, and gives me the sense of scale, of the juxtaposition of the real Anne and the Miniaturist’s painting.”

“The details and language of this story were impressively rich and vivid. Not only did you know your era well… but you also built palpable sexual tension between them and allowed them to explore it… One of the sexiest stories in the contest.”

“A very poetic and delicate story. Tiny Hans is racked with political fear, Anne is confident in her authority and is moved by her desires. Together they make an interesting dance, as he has to overcome himself to receive the gift he has fantasized over for so long.”

“I loved how scandalous it was for them to be together in the way they were. It was cute how he was so worried about the wet paint, rightfully so! I thought you did a lovely interpretation of a historical period and size erotica. Definitely one of my favorite in this contest.”

“I’ve always loved the concept of a shrunken artist being able to apply levels of detail impossible for normal sized hands to achieve. This story plays with that trope in a wonderful, and ultimately sexy way… We need more stories like this.”