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Tag: female tiny

Harder with the Gentleness

Kinky scribble time! This is the fastest I have drafted, edited, and released a story in years. I spent nearly as long on the graphics as I did on the story! It feels like a big relief, since I was beginning to wonder if I’d lost the ability to write anything under 3000 words. But today I was inspired by a sweet message from my partner pseudo_size and decided I would write the story and release it before I start to second-guess myself.

kinky scribble is a flash fiction exercise I developed to help me level up as a writer, to create stories and let them go. I envy artists who can scribble a sketch and share it unfinished into the wild for people to enjoy. This is my answer to that for writers. Feel free to join in yourself, and share with #KinkyScribble so others can find it.

 

Artwork

The photo I used in the banner is by Harsh Gupta on Unsplash.

 

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have multiple works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. The few donations I get usually go right into commissioning art and paying beta readers. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

 

Story synopsis

A tiny woman takes a nap between her lover’s thighs and savors everything she finds there.

 

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for this story include:

Content tags: M/f – tiny woman, handheld sizes, snuggles, body exploration, testicle play, cock play, precum, begging, mutual masterbation, semen, aftercare

 

Read the story

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

AUDIO VERSION: I might record audio for this story. If I get enough requests, I will move it up on my priority list.

 

A Good Luck Charm for His Pocket

Today I was inspired to share a fantasy of mine in the form of a kinky scribble. Skip to the story content section if you want to jump right in.

A kinky scribble is a flash fiction exercise I developed to help me level up as a writer, to create stories and let them go. I envy artists who can scribble a sketch and share it unfinished into the wild for people to enjoy. This is my answer to that for writers. Feel free to join in yourself, and share with #KinkyScribble so others can find it.

Most of my original kinky scribbles are short, but in recent years I find them growing and growing (heh). This particular beast clocks in at 4159 words and took me about 2.75 hours to write with about a half hour of edits. Okay. Forty-five minutes. I’m stopping now, I promise.

In the end, I had to ask some fellow size writers to help talk me down as my brain tried to convince me that this story “deserved” a beta reader, more rounds of edits, more thought on the story arc and characterization, time spent balancing three-beats and avoiding word repetition, commissioning artwork, and gods know what else. If my brain had her way, I’d work on this for six months and still release it unsatisfied. Some projects need that kind of attention. This is not that project.

Thank you, Njord and pseudo_size, for helping me let go of my impossible desire for perfection, and just embrace the smut.

 

Inspiration

I’ve received feedback on this story that the connection between the characters is very sweet and caring. This due in large part because this fantasy was inspired by my wonderful partner and fellow sizeshifting erotica writer pseudo_size!

I asked his permission to talk about this here, and to make an important distinction. This character is not pseudo, this character is my invention in my personal fantasy that was inspired by my interactions with pseudo.

In the years since we met and began dating here in the size kink community, he’s been incredibly sweet and caring with me, and has shared so much of his knowledge about BDSM experiences in real life. We’ve explored some kinky things together, some rough, some gentle, but at the end of the day we know the other is a human with wants and needs and vulnerabilities just like anyone else. I’m grateful he is in my life, and grateful to be in his, too.

If you enjoy heartfelt size kink erotica, I highly recommend his work.

 

Artwork

The photo I used in the banner is by Rodolfo Sanches Carvalho on Unsplash.

 

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have multiple works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. The few donations I get usually go right into commissioning art and paying beta readers. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

 

Story synopsis

A tiny woman begs her partner to tuck her in his pocket and use her as his fidget toy. As the dayand distractionsand orgasmsmultiply, he shrinks her smaller and smaller, and tucks her into the safest place he knows.

 

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for this story include:

Content tags: M/f – shrinking, handheld to micro sizes, pocket riding, cock play, precum, cock vore / cock insertion, public play, scientist, sex in a workplace, trance, tiny used as a fidget toy, teasing, begging, BDSM, a tiny going subverbal, themes of unfairness and insignificance, embracing sluthood, lots of orgasms and cum, aftercare

 

Read the story

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

AUDIO VERSION: I might record audio for this story. If I get enough requests, I will move it up on my priority list.

Size Erotica: If You Could Be a Sex Toy

I’m celebrating the start of spooky season by releasing a size kink transformation fantasy! Skip to the story content section if you want to jump right in.

I’m a witch all year round, but I like leaning into it during this time of year. Witches in kinky erotica combine some of my favorite tropes: power exchange, feminine domination, and changes like growth or shrinking without need for explanation. It also opens the door to darker elements, depending on my mood.

I wrote this while on hiatus, intending to release it without edits as a kinky scribble. I kept coming back to it, though, as one of the few things that turned me on during my month-long break. At 5560 words, with three rounds of edits, and five separate orgasms, I have to admit this thing is no longer a scribble. It’s a happy, sexy mess, and it’s time for me to let it go.

I suspect I’ve been hanging onto it out of a vague sense of embarrassment. This “living dildo” kink is one of my classic go-to erotic fantasies, but I don’t see it represented often. I almost used it for Cocktober back in 2019, but was too shy and ended up writing Trick, Treat instead. This kink also tied to one of my early mistakes in the size kink community, so there’s part of me that wants to tuck it in a drawer and pretend I never get off to this, never wrote 5,000 words about how hot I find it, and definitely never made questionable choices because of it. But, as I wrote in the Twitter thread linked above, “BDSM is a skillset, a culture, a language. We need space for people to learn safely AND a place for people to make mistakes to learn.” Hiding this kink because I made a mistake that mortified me doesn’t help anyone. Sharing a whole story instead is one way for me to fight shame and give myself the same grace and acceptance I know we all deserve.

Anyway, I don’t know how much of my size kink audience will be here for a transformation scene like this, but sometimes writing kinky stories is just about having a fantasy that turns you on and leaning into it, just because it feels good. This is what felt good to me. If it’s the kind of thing that feels good to you, too, then I hope you enjoy it!

(If not, well, stick around. I have some more mainstream stories coming soon!)

Oh, and one more note. The “prose poetry orgasms” at the end were a total experiment. Sometimes when I spend a lot of time with mind control kinks, I start thinking more in kinky poetry and less in prose. If it helps, know that I wrote most of that part one-handed~

 

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have multiple works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. The few donations I get usually go right into commissioning art and paying beta readers. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

 

Story synopsis

Kim convinces her friends to join her at a sex toy party hosted by the richest woman in town, hoping they’ll forget their troubles for one magical night. But as they all find out the hard way, the real magic is the sex toys they become along the way.

 

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for this story include:

Content tags: F/f, shrinking, growing, noncon, mind control, mild bimbofication, mention of spanking, objectification, transformation, genital transformation, lady with a cock, growth of cock and balls, disproportionate growth, living dildo, mild humiliation, helplessness, worship, and prose poetry orgasms

 

Read the story

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

AUDIO VERSION: I do not currently have plans to record audio for this story. If I get enough requests, however, I will reconsider.

Size Erotica: Woman, in Ecstasy, Chapter 5

“Woman, in Ecstasy” follows the story of a woman on a date with her boyfriend at a museum of sex. He convinces her to volunteer as part of a kinky art installation, where she grows, shrinks, and becomes a horny slut at the mercy of strangers—one of whom has eyes on her boyfriend. Read Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, and Chapter 4.

In this final chapter, Lisa gives Noelle a gift before taking her new toy on the kinkiest ride of her life.

I’ve unveiled this story in five chapters, each one lewder than the last. I’m proud to be able to offer author-read audio for each installment. This is a way to ensure increased accessibility for members of the kink community who use screen readers, and adds some extra sexiness for my fellow audiophiles. All told for this series, I’ve recorded 105 minutes, or about 1.75 hours of free erotic audio!

Scroll to the story content section if you want to jump right to the story.

 

 

Topic & timing

If you want to know why I’ve written a story about a woman losing her agency, and why the hell a self-respecting feminist would choose this particular moment to release it, I answer those questions and more in a kinky blog post: Embracing My Inner Size SlutTopics include a discussion of agency, bodily autonomy; nonconsensual themes in size play, hypnosis, mind control and bimbofication; mentions of trauma and sexual assault, and resources for survivors.

We really need to take care of each other and ourselves right now. Be gentle with yourself. Set boundaries. Figure out how your body in particular asks you for different kinds of rest, like mental downtime or peace and quiet. The most important thing is to listen to your body and decide what’s right for you. Maybe that’s reading/listening to this story today. Maybe it’s waiting for a day when you have more energy or fewer responsibilities. (Or when you’re just really horny!) After all, no matter how much we fantasize otherwise, you’re the only one who can decide what’s right for you.

 

Artwork & shout-outs

I’m thrilled and deeply grateful to @pseudo_size for creating this GORGEOUS and sexy render art of one of my favorite moments in the story.

Render art by @pseudo_size of a giantess growing inside a glass room in a museum, while two smaller people look on from outside. A man stands at the controls, and a woman holds a towel closed while smirking down at the giantess, who looks very aroused and has her hand up as if begging. Her breasts are expanding at enormous sizes.
Art by pseudo_size. Do not repost without permission.

It’s no exaggeration to say that this story would not be what it is without pseudo and his help. His skill and empathy in beta reading, his insight into character development, story arcs, strengths and vulnerabilities, all of it helped me tell the story I was trying to tell.

Please go check out his art and writing, including a new story he began sharing for Pride Month, Holding Space. He’s released the final chapter and it’s one of the sexiest stories I’ve ever read in the size kink community.

 

Story inspirations

Inspiration for this story comes partly from a place that’s been on my bucket list for years, The Vagina Museum. It’s hardly the only museum of sex, but it is the world’s first bricks-and-mortar museum “dedicated to the gynaecological anatomy.” Learn how to support their work in my introduction to Chapter 1 (and discover why I’ve chosen to depict nonprofits in this way).

 

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have twelve works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

 

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for the story overall will include:

F/m/f, f/M/F, f/F – (shrinking, growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, hypnosis, begging, orgasm denial, jealousy, cuckolding, BDSM, voyeurism, masturbation, entrapment, claustrophobia mention, licking, sucking on fingers and feet, kisses, insertion, cunnilingus, penetration, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

Tags for this chapter in particular include:

f/M/F – (shrinking, public play, exhibitionism, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, hypnosis, begging, orgasm denial, cuckolding, BDSM, voyeurism, masturbation, entrapment, licking, sucking on fingers and feet, kisses, insertion, cunnilingus, penetration, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

A note on the hypnosis: seriously, I DO NOT recommend driving while listening. I don’t know if it will be as powerful for you as it has been for me, but I literally put myself into a subspace trance multiple times while writing and editing—and I’m honestly not sure what will happen as I read this aloud for you. Either way, I suspect we’ll both have fun~

 

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to a 24-minute author-read version of the story here. Do not listen while driving.

NOTE ABOUT THE AUDIO: please be gentle with me! This is a very enthusiastic reading, but an imperfect one. Turns out, reading smut where I force a character to get so turned on she loses her words… has an interesting effect on my ability to read her part.

I had limited time to read this chapter in a single take, and while I did my best in Audacity to edit my worst stumbles in the sound clip, there were several others I left in. And some of the edits sound like, well, edits. I’m not going to let perfection impede the publication of this story any longer. Consider it added realism for Noelle’s descent into sluthood!

You may notice the audio quality itself improved this time. Thanks to @Giant_Micro for his tips on DIY pop filters. If you’d like to help me buy a bonafide mic and a pop filter to make the sound quality better for future recordings, or if you’d like to help me pay for audio engineering from a community member with experience, I’d welcome donations of any size.

 

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

 

BijouL33 Art Commission: Kissing a Tiny

A woman with long pink hair, pale skin, and a black lace mask nuzzles a female tiny with medium brown skin and short brown hair. The tiny is surrounded by hearts and her thigh has a red blush where the larger woman is kissing her.
Created by BijouL33 and shared with their permission. Do not repost without permission.

I recently commissioned the wonderful and talented BijouL33 to draw themselves tiny in the middle of a kiss with me.

It was part of a Your Character Here (YCH) project they made to fundraise a VR headset. As someone who also desperately wishes I could find a better way to experience my size feelings, I couldn’t resist! I wanted both the artwork with that amazing intimate pose, AND the chance for Lee to experience being small. I felt strongly that the universe would be a better place when she had that experience.

The photo I used was of me in the black lace eye mask I wore to SizeCon in November 2021. I think they knocked it out of the park! I couldn’t stop saying “WOW” for a full five minutes. It’s an incredibly sensual work of art, and I absolutely love how they drew me.

Also. Tiny blushes. Tiny blushes are the best.

Lee identifies as non-binary and female and uses they/she pronouns. Do not repost this artwork without her permission.

Size Erotica: Carried Away

(Themes include unexpected growth, building destruction, some physical danger for the Giant and the tiny, a Giant in a tight space, bruises and light injury, breast play, oral sex, vaginal insertion, some feelings, and puns.) Click here if you want to jump right to the story.

 

Sex + humor + size kink

Sometimes you just want to write some funny sex scenes. And sometimes those sex scenes grow into stories in their own right.

I’m pleased to present Carried Away, a 5000-word F/f growth story inspired by @SunnyDLiteNSFW and this tweet:

I’m not quite sure how, but that idea grew into this:

“Right here. Right now. Focus on me and how I feel inside you.” Carrie raised her hips ever so slightly, tightening her muscles in response. They moaned together, heedless of the rubble shifting around them. 

“Oh, God, Meg.” Carrie’s heartbeat was pounding. She accidentally swelled larger, her hands gripping a broken table and a metal filing cabinet so hard that one splintered and the other dented. She rocked her hips slightly, a begging motion, the universal signal for fuck me harder.

They sank into a rhythm, a dangerous, devil-may-care rhythm. She felt like a dragon twined around a castle tower, powerful and sensual. Meg was working magic inside her, like a tiny brave and bewitching sorceress. Carrie moaned into the wind and inched larger from sheer arousal. She should hold still. She knew she should. 

 

Many thanks to @pseudo_size for beta reading and providing edits! It became a much stronger story with your suggestions.

 

 

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have many works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

 

Insertion—but from whose perspective?

Something occurred to me as I was writing and tinkering with point of view. It’s so rare to see a size kink insertion scene written from the perspective of the person being penetrated.

Anyone like me who’s a fan of insertion is probably familiar with the sensual tropes of a tiny’s POV as they admire, explore, and enter the body of a larger person. For me, when I’m feeling tiny, I get off the thought of being overwhelmed by the power of someone’s body. The incredible intimacy of experiencing your loving partner that way. Or the more intense fantasies that involve helplessness, humiliation, objectification, and darker themes. There’s a lot to like, no matter your interests.

The most common trope features a tiny man inserted into the vagina of a Giantess. Sometimes you’ll see a Giantess and a tiny woman. More rarely, other gender combinations.

Out of curiosity, I went to GiantessWorld.net, pulled up the insertion tag, and kept a tally of how many stories included F/f content. Full disclosure, I got bored of this after about eleven pages of scrolling. But out of roughly 220 stories, I counted about 65 that had F/f, or 29%. The GW tagging system doesn’t offer a category for the POV of the stories, but anyone who’s enjoyed this trope for long knows that most of them center the tiny’s perspective.

It would erase many genders represented in this kink community to say that centering the tiny’s perspective effectively centered the male gaze. But for many years, the people in the world most likely to create and commission kinky content were the ones with extra money and leisure time. So the artwork and erotica skewed towards the cis, straight, male gaze.

(“Male gaze” is a term coined by film critic Laura Mulvey in 1973 that describes the cinematic angle of a heterosexual man on a woman. “Essentially, the male gaze sees the female body as something for the heterosexual male (or patriarchal society as a whole) to watch, conquer, and possess and use to further their goals,” she wrote. Studies show it increases self-objectification and body shame in women. Luckily, careful and mindful application of kink is one way that a person can process feelings like that, but I digress.)

 

Some queer size kink history

Then Tumblr burst onto the scene. And revolutionized women’s sexual exploration and expression online. Especially queer women.

Finding the Giant/tiny size kink community on Tumblr in 2015 changed my life, because I was able to see I wasn’t an outlier as a woman in a space full of men. I was one of many women with this kink, in a space where male-centered content had reason to be vastly over-represented.

Tumblr changed all of that and empowered us to create and share the kinky fantasies that centered other perspectives.

From Elle Magazine’s 2018 article: Tumblr Was A Safe Space For Women To Consume Porn. Now It’s Banning Adult Content.

“With Tumblr, I was able to find and curate my site to my tastes, that’s what made it different,” she said. “I didn’t have to rely on mainstream adult content to tell me what should turn me on. [That] same drive to find sexual content that mirrors our own desires is the reason Tumblr porn was [or] is so popular with many women. The fact is A LOT of women consume and view porn… Less adult content focused on the male gaze and more focused on mutual pleasure and pleasuring — that’s what there needs to be more of and what Tumblr was able to foster.”

“Tumblr is the only website where if you search a tag like #lesbian you’ll get sex education, erotica, fan fiction, porn, coming out stories, and fashion.”

That ability to curate and tag search — Chase calls Tumblr “Pinterest for sex” — was instrumental. Sex could be ruled by sensibility, allowing vulnerable and underprivileged communities to connect and start exchanging real information along with nudes. To this day, the top-reviewed and most-followed porn Tumblrs include not just explicit-content curators, but blogs like Orgasmic Tips for Girls, which teaches women how to masturbate, or xxuntilweod, which mixes relatively vanilla clips of women kissing and holding hands with more graphic images of lesbian sex, letting women explore a whole range of queer intimacy without either sensationalizing or censoring it.

As the article points out, Tumblr banned NSFW content in 2018 thanks to SESTA/FOSTA legislation, and many queer and kink communities scattered to the four winds. Some of us made the jump to Twitter, Discord, or created our own blogs like this one.

I remember the frantic efforts we all made to back up our blogs and writing, which weren’t very successful. It hurts to think of all the content that I technically have, with garbled code, collecting dust in my cloud storage. I can share it here, but it would take a lot of effort to excavate it, and besides, the collaborative environment where those stories came to life are gone. It’s not quite the same.

And on a wider scale, so much was lost, but especially queer femme stories and perspectives. I miss the conversations badly. If I had shared these thoughts and this story on Tumblr, people would reblog it with their own comments, ideas, essays, stories, and it would just grow like this beautiful organic thing. Like a community mural, where people would pass by it from time to time and add more of themselves and their fantasies.

 

You said this was gonna be a funny story. WTF?

I know this is a serious introduction for a fun post. But it was on my mind when I realized the last time I saw an insertion scene from the perspective of a Giantess was on Tumblr.

I can’t even remember who wrote it. Was it one of those slap-dash collaborative efforts, where we built on each others’ work to riff off each other, challenge each other? Was it public roleplay? Or prose? A poem? Was it a simple exploration, a few paragraphs of pleasure? I can’t even recall details enough to ask my fellow alumni from the school of Tumblr sexual expression if they remember what I’m talking about.

The point is, plenty of people in this community don’t identify as male and exclusively tiny. And we deserve to see our own pleasure represented in size kink stories. Because sometimes I want to be overwhelmed—and sometimes I want to be the one who’s overwhelming.

The only solution I can think of is to create more content. Be the porn you want to see in the world!

 

Read the story

 

Carried Away

By Elle Largesse

Copyright 2021, all rights reserved

5084 words

 

Themes include unexpected growth, building destruction, some physical danger for the Giant and the tiny, a Giant in a tight space, bruises and light injury, breast play, oral sex, vaginal insertion, some feelings, and puns.

Size Erotica: Do for One

“By turns sweet, sexy, and intense, this story was cathartic. Clearly it was written in the moment… from a very personal place and very real struggle. The intimacy on display was beautiful.”

 

I’m proud to share “Do for One,” my entry for the My Heaven October 20 SizeRiot contest, hosted by the hardworking and talented Aborigen-gts​. As this was the final chapter for SizeRiot, a quarterly event that meant so much to me as a writer and size kink enthusiast, I worked especially hard to give it my best effort.

Given the hellacious year we’ve all endured, and the ways trauma can influence our sexuality, I was not able to bring myself to write about my ideal, quintessential size scenario like the contest asked us to. However, I am proud that I did rise to the occasion and craft a love story that “that twinges the heartstrings,” and a size story that makes me “feel less alone.” Thank you, Aborigen, for bringing us all full circle back to our roots, and for encouraging us to find safe havens for our minds, hearts, and bodies, even in a time of fear, grief, and isolation.

 

“Deeply personal”

As many readers guessed, this story comes from a deeply personal place. Facets of me and both my partners shine through in both characters. Though I changed details, the work is similar to my own career.

And although I do not actually change size like Amy, my mind gives me the sensory input that makes it feel like I am smaller or larger than reality. As with many forms of neurodivergence, some days it’s fine, some days it’s fun, some days it’s awful, and if 2020 was any indication, quarantine definitely makes it harder. If any of this sounds familiar, or if Amy’s experiences speak to you on a personal level, then you can read more about size dysmorphia in my origin story.

 

Do try this at home

If you feel an emotional release from this scene and are wondering if you could re-create Amy’s catharsis at home, I’m going to encourage you to read the article I wrote in July, Sexual Brakes, Trauma, & Kink in the Burning 20s.

If you’re not interested in the neuroscience of sexual brakes and accelerators or why we don’t have sex drives, you can skip to “How to stop stopping: taking your foot (and everything else) off the brake” to learn about why Amy’s catharsis works.

If you’re very low on energy and just want help, go to “Completing the cycle while (ahem) laying in bed” for my recipe on how to use size kink to achieve that catharsis. It’s not a quick fix, but I swear, this is one of the top things that has helped me manage my mental health through the pandemic.

 

Commissioned artwork

I am thrilled with the artwork I commissioned from TinyBoyToy, a talented artist from the #SizeTwitter community who creates gorgeous queer giant/tiny artwork. (Heads-up, they do sometimes post body horror content on their Patreon.) They are wonderful to work with, please commission them and help them reach 20 patrons so they can keep making amazing art!

Thanks also to the anonymous donor who contributed to my commission fund. I’m so grateful!

Illustration of a tiny nude person under the hand of a much larger person. The tiny is crying and holding their finger. The large person is visible, watching them. Around the frame are illustrations of paper, tech, headphones, and other items you'd find on a crowded desk.
Illustration credit to @TinyBoyToy. Do not repost without permission. Click to see full image. Commission the artist and support them on Patreon at https://twitter.com/tinyboytoy

Feedback & community response

I appreciate the feedback I received for this story. As always, I’m deeply grateful to my beta readers and everyone who read my work and reviewed it.

What did people enjoy most about this story? This section is longer than I usually make it, because at least half of the feedback felt like it might have meaning for others, too. And we could all use more hope and meaning right now. Here’s what the readers had to say.

“A lovely story of partners negotiating kink and size spaces.”

“Beautifully and unforgivingly human characterization… Thoughtful use of visual descriptors manages to be both vivid yet also subdued. One of my favorites of this contest. Very fine work.”

“Fantastic feeling of frustration and being trapped by her own size. The relationship felt entirety natural and I practically felt the frustration as she fought her fury out of her and the relief at the end. An impressive ride of emotion and size entwined.”

“Deeply personal read about a familiar and infuriatingly contemporary struggle.”

“Stories like this bring some hope and light, especially in a time like this. Struggling with what you can and cannot do during the pandemic, how and who we can help, or if we can do anything to take care of ourselves. This is a harsh tale, but also one with hope, telling us the need of letting go, releasing the burden. How it plays with size games, with pressure, with all the tension to fight the negativity and find the ray of hope that keeps us going. All that in this story, so well-written and so intense.”

“Heartbreaking and sexy all at once.”

“My favorite thing about this one is how it resonated with Talmudic concepts of doing good in the world, even though the world seems so big.”

“I enjoy the trope of size being connected to emotional state, and you utilize it here in a meaningful, relatable, visceral, and hopeful (“Do for one”) way. These are real characters with real fears and needs, and this is an amazing piece of fiction.”

“This is a remarkable story about personal release and catharsis through size. I think one of the most beautiful things about this fetish of ours, is that it gives us an avenue to experience being powerful, and powerless. Ways to take, and ways to give. It’s usually difficult to write something that is meant for yourself, and have it encode for anyone else. The message got through this time. The need to fight, when there’s nothing suitable to fight. This story was such a beautiful way to solve that problem, with this gift of size we’ve been given. Thank you.”

“An amazing story, and perhaps one of the first I’ve read involving a definitively non-gendered deuteragonist. Also a look into a world of safe-words. Overall, this piece is a fantastic tale crafted with care and love. I’m better for having read it, and I’ll be returning to it throughout my future; one of the best compliments I can give a work of art.”

“To whoever wrote this story, thank you for writing it. This helped instigate the best cry I had in a while, one I sorely needed, because I didn’t even know I was feeling some of these things. If these experiences are based on real lived ones, please know that you have helped me. Rare is the story that encapsulates that feeling of impotence one feels when one has power—any power—to help and still can’t. Rarer are those that validate the feelings that arise. The rage, the utter, debilitating need to *be* and *not be*, while also acknowledging the little goods, the big goods, the unambiguously valid truth that comes with being hamstrung by a world that seems insistent on ignoring pain. Life imitates art, yet art draws from life and I was still surprised to come upon a story that will likely remain in my consciousness for a while.”

Maybe I didn’t need to share all of that, but I wanted to. Both for myself, as a reminder that in spite of my insecurities, I am actually succeeding at doing what I set out to do—write sexy stories about connection and love and the human experience—and also to acknowledge that we’re all going through a lot right now.

Some folks wrote some really personal, heartfelt things to me after reading this piece. Thank you for reading, and for trusting me.

You’re not alone.

 

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Coming this spring, check back for a 20-minute author-read version

TEXT VERSION: Read the full story behind the cut.

Kinky Scribble: What Happens Next

Person holding a red pomelo fruit. Two fingers are pushed inside suggestively.
Photo by Taras Chernus on Unsplash, shared with a Creative Commons License.

 

Kinky Scribble installment seven! If you’re here for the sexy times, skip to the “read more.” Otherwise, continue below for an update on my inspiration for this story, why this is my first scribble in six months, and my hypothesis for why the sexy words finally, finally came. (Pun intended.)

Update! This story now has author-read audio. Enjoy~

 

Inspiration & Responsive vs Spontaneous Sexual Desire

On the surface, my inspiration for this story would seem to originate with this tweet and this tweet. If you ask to go deeper (please, deeper, harder) then I will share with you that the inspiration came from one of my first roleplay sessions with the talented @pseudo_size, a fellow polyamorous kink writer who has brought much inspiration to my life this year. You can read more of his work here, including a fantastic dark noncon commission he did for me in July. This weekend when I found myself fantasizing about two of the characters from that first February session, I messaged him privately to explore the concept, and he was very obliging with his response. It left me thirsty for more, in a way I haven’t felt in a long time.

(Content warning for discussion of mental health.) My regular readers know that I’ve been struggling with trauma and a decreased desire for sex a lot this year. I won’t go into that in detail here, but I have learned a lot about the concept of sexual brakes and sexual accelerators, and how arousal works in relation to stress and mental health. My blog post Sexual Brakes, Trauma, & Kink in the Burning 20’s explores how I have used size kink in stress cycle exercises to release stress, fight depression, and find my way back to arousal.

Even with all that hard work and experimentation, in the last six months I have found my own turn-ons to be rooted firmly in responsive desire—when your brain only gets turned on when something sexy is already happening—and in my case, it’s mostly in contexts with people I trust a great deal, like my partners. Pre-pandemic, finding my turn-on for writing erotica was as easy as turning a faucet, most days. Spontaneous and fun. But in the last half year, the faucet has required some creative encouragement to function at all. For example, trying to find my turn-on for a sex scene in SizeRiot’s HistoricalJuly20 contest required patience, tremendous effort, and a lot of trial and error. It was a mental puzzle, not a physical inspiration.

So how the hell did I wake up Saturday morning spontaneously fantasizing about sex? After so long, how on earth did I finally feel inspired enough to dash off 1600 words of sensually charged erotica? With no deadline, no contest, no context of a loving partner hoping for my next kiss or my next paragraph?

I’ve only experienced spontaneous sexual desire a few times during the pandemic, and each time came directly after some stressor in my life resolved itself. The work crisis ended with a lucky break. The estranged family member answered my messages. I finally asked for help about something that had me burned out. Within 12-24 hours, each time I found myself experiencing wave after wave of spontaneous arousal. It was as if my body took a deep breath and said, “FINALLY! It’s safe enough for sexy times. Release the arousal!” 

A door in my mind opened and erotica came flooding out. 

When I shared the story with Pseudo afterward, I blushed hard at his response. “You really turned a quick few sentences about this concept from me into one of the sexiest pieces of size writing I’ve ever read.”

 

Kinky Scribble recipe & reasoning

A Kinky Scribble is a flash-fiction writing exercise idea I’ve been developing since January 2020, as a tool to break past my anxieties as a writer. Read my past Kinky Scribbles and search the #KinkyScribble tag itself on Twitter. 

The strategy is to produce creative content in a short amount of time, give it minimal edits, and then release it into the wild for others to enjoy. My goals are to practice my fiction-writing skills, to produce more content while still reconnecting with the parts of writing I enjoy most, and to re-calibrate my sense of when something is “done enough” to share.

Feel free to join in! Don’t feel obliged to follow my same format of listing my word count and writing/editing times. It’s really useful to me to re-calibrate my time estimates, and to prove to myself that I can make good content in uncomfortably short time frames.

And speaking of comfort zones, I strongly encourage all #KinkyScribble creators to tag their content so that readers can opt in or out with fully informed consent. I’m not perfect about this, but practice has been helping, and I’m committed to doing better in the future.

 

Kinky Scribble: What Happens Next

(Content includes: F/M/f, cunnilingus, face sitting, teasing, begging, PIV sex, growth/shrinking, consensual non-monogamy, insertion)

1657 words; 1.5 hours writing time, 20 minutes of editing in two rounds

 

Read the story

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

AUDIO VERSION: Please enjoy this free 15-minute author-read audio file.

 

Kinky Scribbles: Body Pillow

Today’s kinky scribble is brought to you by my cold, frustrated sizefeels this morning. Thanks, size dysmorphia.

And far more sincere thanks to my friend Dick, the Micro Giant, who let me roleplay this little comfort scene off and on today to work through these feelings.

Ten minutes. Just a scribble. Let go of whatever you think this needs to be, Elle. Just write.

(Ten minutes turned into an hour and a half of writing, with another half hour of edits. I never know if I should feel pleased at my accomplishment when this happens, or annoyed with my inability to keep my projects small. I do feel really good about this one, though.)


Kinky Scribbles: Body Pillow

(M/f, male Giant, female tiny, shrinking, cuddles, comfort)
1020 words, est. 1.5 hours of writing, 0.5 hours of editing

Kinky Scribbles: First Kiss

I have had the good luck to end up with a writing coach for the month of January, and she’s helping me figure out ways to lower the stakes of writing more often, both for erotica and for my mainstream projects.

Step one is to attempt what I’m calling “writing scribbles” that will be quick, short, relatively unplanned, and can have only one round of edits before sharing with the world.

This is basically what I achieved many times over with Tumblr’s format, and what I’ve been avoiding with my shiny personal website for the last year. As if I went from a commuter train full of conversations with friends and acquaintances I see regularly, to a personal vehicle where I make all the decisions of where to go, and I do it alone, and have to roll down the window or deliberately invite people inside to talk to them. It’s clunky, lonely, and it feels like the stakes are higher (silly ideas about identity, success, connection) if I decide to go in the wrong direction or say the wrong thing.

Fuck the wrong thing. Nothing is wrong–it’s either unethical, painful, uncomfortable, or various shades of awkward. I might regret a thing, but who cares? It’s on my website, and I’m in control of whether or not it continues to see the light of day. I’m going to take the steps to make sure it’s as ethical as I can make it, by offering tags and informed consent and giving credit to other writers and artists. As for pain, that can heal. Discomfort and awkwardness are also hallmarks of change and growth. Nobody ever made progress or created something wonderful by staying 100% comfortable.

Scribbles can be drawing, writing, any kind of creative art. The point is that it has to be quick, simple, and low-stakes.

At this point in my process, I’m not allowed to turn it into a big thing or make extra work for myself with extra ideas. I’m not adding it to my mainstream works. I’m sticking to kinky content only, because it’s the one kind of writing that brings me the most joy and escapism right now. And also because it’s a way to keep my scope small.

Ironically for someone with size dysmorphia, I have no idea how to keep my ideas and goals small.

I know how to “go big or go home” in other parts of my life, but over the years I’ve let it become too overwhelming with writing because I get cloudy with assumptions of what it means to be a writer and what it means to be “enough.” (Fuck you very much, Impostor Syndrome.) Even discussing the scribbles concept with the coach and how to fit 10 minutes into my schedule a week, I quickly morphed the discussion into how I could carve out 30 minutes a day, every day. When she pointed that out and reminded me that I am already enough regardless of how many minutes I can or can’t put into my schedule right now, I burst into tears.

Fuck going big all the time, fuck that overachiever mindset that’s burned me out so many times. Fuck the toxic productivity culture of never believing I’m enough.

I want to learn how to go small. I’m a sizeshifter, damnit. This is a skill I can develop, just like any other. I just need to find a way to show up and do the work without self-sabotaging all my efforts with last-minute deadline scrambles and other misguided attempts at staying comfortably far away from risk and failure.