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Tag: nonconsensual

Size Erotica: If You Could Be a Sex Toy

I’m celebrating the start of spooky season by releasing a size kink transformation fantasy! Skip to the story content section if you want to jump right in.

I’m a witch all year round, but I like leaning into it during this time of year. Witches in kinky erotica combine some of my favorite tropes: power exchange, feminine domination, and changes like growth or shrinking without need for explanation. It also opens the door to darker elements, depending on my mood.

I wrote this while on hiatus, intending to release it without edits as a kinky scribble. I kept coming back to it, though, as one of the few things that turned me on during my month-long break. At 5560 words, with three rounds of edits, and five separate orgasms, I have to admit this thing is no longer a scribble. It’s a happy, sexy mess, and it’s time for me to let it go.

I suspect I’ve been hanging onto it out of a vague sense of embarrassment. This “living dildo” kink is one of my classic go-to erotic fantasies, but I don’t see it represented often. I almost used it for Cocktober back in 2019, but was too shy and ended up writing Trick, Treat instead. This kink also tied to one of my early mistakes in the size kink community, so there’s part of me that wants to tuck it in a drawer and pretend I never get off to this, never wrote 5,000 words about how hot I find it, and definitely never made questionable choices because of it. But, as I wrote in the Twitter thread linked above, “BDSM is a skillset, a culture, a language. We need space for people to learn safely AND a place for people to make mistakes to learn.” Hiding this kink because I made a mistake that mortified me doesn’t help anyone. Sharing a whole story instead is one way for me to fight shame and give myself the same grace and acceptance I know we all deserve.

Anyway, I don’t know how much of my size kink audience will be here for a transformation scene like this, but sometimes writing kinky stories is just about having a fantasy that turns you on and leaning into it, just because it feels good. This is what felt good to me. If it’s the kind of thing that feels good to you, too, then I hope you enjoy it!

(If not, well, stick around. I have some more mainstream stories coming soon!)

Oh, and one more note. The “prose poetry orgasms” at the end were a total experiment. Sometimes when I spend a lot of time with mind control kinks, I start thinking more in kinky poetry and less in prose. If it helps, know that I wrote most of that part one-handed~

 

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have multiple works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. The few donations I get usually go right into commissioning art and paying beta readers. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

 

Story synopsis

Kim convinces her friends to join her at a sex toy party hosted by the richest woman in town, hoping they’ll forget their troubles for one magical night. But as they all find out the hard way, the real magic is the sex toys they become along the way.

 

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for this story include:

Content tags: F/f, shrinking, growing, noncon, mind control, mild bimbofication, mention of spanking, objectification, transformation, genital transformation, lady with a cock, growth of cock and balls, disproportionate growth, living dildo, mild humiliation, helplessness, worship, and prose poetry orgasms

 

Read the story

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

AUDIO VERSION: I do not currently have plans to record audio for this story. If I get enough requests, however, I will reconsider.

Size Erotica: Woman, in Ecstasy, Chapter 5

“Woman, in Ecstasy” follows the story of a woman on a date with her boyfriend at a museum of sex. He convinces her to volunteer as part of a kinky art installation, where she grows, shrinks, and becomes a horny slut at the mercy of strangers—one of whom has eyes on her boyfriend. Read Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, and Chapter 4.

In this final chapter, Lisa gives Noelle a gift before taking her new toy on the kinkiest ride of her life.

I’ve unveiled this story in five chapters, each one lewder than the last. I’m proud to be able to offer author-read audio for each installment. This is a way to ensure increased accessibility for members of the kink community who use screen readers, and adds some extra sexiness for my fellow audiophiles. All told for this series, I’ve recorded 105 minutes, or about 1.75 hours of free erotic audio!

Scroll to the story content section if you want to jump right to the story.

 

 

Topic & timing

If you want to know why I’ve written a story about a woman losing her agency, and why the hell a self-respecting feminist would choose this particular moment to release it, I answer those questions and more in a kinky blog post: Embracing My Inner Size SlutTopics include a discussion of agency, bodily autonomy; nonconsensual themes in size play, hypnosis, mind control and bimbofication; mentions of trauma and sexual assault, and resources for survivors.

We really need to take care of each other and ourselves right now. Be gentle with yourself. Set boundaries. Figure out how your body in particular asks you for different kinds of rest, like mental downtime or peace and quiet. The most important thing is to listen to your body and decide what’s right for you. Maybe that’s reading/listening to this story today. Maybe it’s waiting for a day when you have more energy or fewer responsibilities. (Or when you’re just really horny!) After all, no matter how much we fantasize otherwise, you’re the only one who can decide what’s right for you.

 

Artwork & shout-outs

I’m thrilled and deeply grateful to @pseudo_size for creating this GORGEOUS and sexy render art of one of my favorite moments in the story.

Render art by @pseudo_size of a giantess growing inside a glass room in a museum, while two smaller people look on from outside. A man stands at the controls, and a woman holds a towel closed while smirking down at the giantess, who looks very aroused and has her hand up as if begging. Her breasts are expanding at enormous sizes.
Art by pseudo_size. Do not repost without permission.

It’s no exaggeration to say that this story would not be what it is without pseudo and his help. His skill and empathy in beta reading, his insight into character development, story arcs, strengths and vulnerabilities, all of it helped me tell the story I was trying to tell.

Please go check out his art and writing, including a new story he began sharing for Pride Month, Holding Space. He’s released the final chapter and it’s one of the sexiest stories I’ve ever read in the size kink community.

 

Story inspirations

Inspiration for this story comes partly from a place that’s been on my bucket list for years, The Vagina Museum. It’s hardly the only museum of sex, but it is the world’s first bricks-and-mortar museum “dedicated to the gynaecological anatomy.” Learn how to support their work in my introduction to Chapter 1 (and discover why I’ve chosen to depict nonprofits in this way).

 

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have twelve works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

 

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for the story overall will include:

F/m/f, f/M/F, f/F – (shrinking, growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, hypnosis, begging, orgasm denial, jealousy, cuckolding, BDSM, voyeurism, masturbation, entrapment, claustrophobia mention, licking, sucking on fingers and feet, kisses, insertion, cunnilingus, penetration, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

Tags for this chapter in particular include:

f/M/F – (shrinking, public play, exhibitionism, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, hypnosis, begging, orgasm denial, cuckolding, BDSM, voyeurism, masturbation, entrapment, licking, sucking on fingers and feet, kisses, insertion, cunnilingus, penetration, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

A note on the hypnosis: seriously, I DO NOT recommend driving while listening. I don’t know if it will be as powerful for you as it has been for me, but I literally put myself into a subspace trance multiple times while writing and editing—and I’m honestly not sure what will happen as I read this aloud for you. Either way, I suspect we’ll both have fun~

 

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to a 24-minute author-read version of the story here. Do not listen while driving.

NOTE ABOUT THE AUDIO: please be gentle with me! This is a very enthusiastic reading, but an imperfect one. Turns out, reading smut where I force a character to get so turned on she loses her words… has an interesting effect on my ability to read her part.

I had limited time to read this chapter in a single take, and while I did my best in Audacity to edit my worst stumbles in the sound clip, there were several others I left in. And some of the edits sound like, well, edits. I’m not going to let perfection impede the publication of this story any longer. Consider it added realism for Noelle’s descent into sluthood!

You may notice the audio quality itself improved this time. Thanks to @Giant_Micro for his tips on DIY pop filters. If you’d like to help me buy a bonafide mic and a pop filter to make the sound quality better for future recordings, or if you’d like to help me pay for audio engineering from a community member with experience, I’d welcome donations of any size.

 

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

 

Size Erotica: Woman, in Ecstasy, Chapter 4

“Woman, in Ecstasy” follows the story of a woman on a date with her boyfriend at a museum of sex. He convinces her to volunteer as part of a kinky art installation, where she grows, shrinks, and becomes a horny slut at the mercy of strangers—one of whom has eyes on her boyfriend. Read Chapter 1, Chapter 2, and Chapter 3.

In Chapter 4, Noelle discovers a new turn-on as Lisa and Daniel bond over shrinking her into a helpless plaything.

I’ll be unveiling this story in five chapters, each one lewder than the last. I’m proud to be able to offer author-read audio for each installment. This is a way to ensure increased accessibility for members of the kink community who use screen readers, and adds some extra sexiness for my fellow audiophiles.

Scroll to the story content section if you want to jump right to the story.

 

 

Topic & timing

If you want to know why I’ve written a story about a woman losing her agency, and why the hell a self-respecting feminist would choose this particular moment to release it, I answer those questions and more in a kinky blog post: Embracing My Inner Size SlutTopics include a discussion of agency, bodily autonomy; nonconsensual themes in size play, hypnosis, mind control and bimbofication; mentions of trauma and sexual assault, and resources for survivors.

We really need to take care of each other and ourselves right now. Be gentle with yourself. Set boundaries. Figure out how your body in particular asks you for different kinds of rest, like mental downtime or peace and quiet. Find ways to listen. If your brain and body don’t feel good about reading this story right now—if “all parts of yourself don’t consent to exploring this today” like my EMDR therapist would put it—then it’s okay to say no. You can come back later and see if your brain and body give you a different answer on a different day. It’s okay if it stays a no.

The most important thing is to listen to your body and decide what’s right for you. After all, no matter how much we fantasize otherwise, you’re the only one who can decide what’s right for you.

 

Artwork & shout-outs

I’m thrilled and deeply grateful to @pseudo_size for creating this GORGEOUS and sexy render art of one of my favorite moments in the story.

Render art by @pseudo_size of a giantess growing inside a glass room in a museum, while two smaller people look on from outside. A man stands at the controls, and a woman holds a towel closed while smirking down at the giantess, who looks very aroused and has her hand up as if begging. Her breasts are expanding at enormous sizes.
Art by pseudo_size. Do not repost without permission.

It’s no exaggeration to say that this story would not be what it is without pseudo and his help. His skill and empathy in beta reading, his insight into character development, story arcs, strengths and vulnerabilities, all of it helped me tell the story I was trying to tell.

Please go check out his art and writing, including a new story he began sharing for Pride Month, Holding Space. He’s planning to release the final chapter very soon and it’s one of the sexiest stories I’ve ever read in the size kink community.

 

Story inspirations

Inspiration for this story comes partly from a place that’s been on my bucket list for years, The Vagina Museum. It’s hardly the only museum of sex, but it is the world’s first bricks-and-mortar museum “dedicated to the gynaecological anatomy.” Learn how to support their work in my introduction to Chapter 1 (and discover why I’ve chosen to depict nonprofits in this way).

 

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have twelve works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

 

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for the story overall will include:

F/m/f, f/M/F, f/F – (shrinking, growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, hypnosis, begging, orgasm denial, jealousy, cuckolding, BDSM, voyeurism, masturbation, entrapment, claustrophobia mention, licking, sucking on fingers and feet, kisses, insertion, cunnilingus, penetration, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

Tags for this chapter in particular include:

f/M/F – (shrinking, public play, exhibitionism, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, begging, orgasm denial, jealousy, cuckolding, BDSM, entrapment, penetration, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

 

 

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to a 23-minute author-read version of the story here.

NOTE ABOUT THE AUDIO: please be gentle with me! This is a very enthusiastic reading, but an imperfect one. Turns out, reading smut where I force a character to get so turned on she loses her words… has an interesting effect on my ability to read her part.

I had limited time to read this chapter in a single take, and while I did my best in Audacity to edit my worst stumbles in the sound clip, there were several others I left in. And some of the edits sound like, well, edits. I’m not going to let perfection impede the publication of this story any longer. Consider it added realism for Noelle’s descent into sluthood!

You may notice the audio quality itself improved this time. Thanks to @Giant_Micro for his tips on DIY pop filters. If you’d like to help me buy a bonafide mic and a pop filter to make the sound quality better for future recordings, or if you’d like to help me pay for audio engineering from a community member with experience, I’d welcome donations of any size.

 

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

 

Embracing My Inner Size Slut

I wrote this while releasing my story “Woman, in Ecstasy,” and it was so fascinating to explore that I realized it needed its own space to grow. Updated in January 2023 with more research.

(This blog post contains discussion of agency, bodily autonomy; nonconsensual themes in size play, hypnosis, mind control and bimbofication; discussion of research on sexual fantasies around forced sex; mentions of trauma and resources for survivors of sexual assault.)

Why am I writing a story about a woman losing her agency? Why am I releasing it right now, as American women are grieving the overturn of Roe v. Wade?

The short answer is that I began writing this back in April, and it’s done, and I want to share it.

The long answer? My body responds to fantasies about giving up control, especially when I’m stressed. I’m far from alone in this. Many people have fantasies about someone forcing them to do the sexy things they find most arousing. My first kink-informed therapist told me that she believed “it’s a way to give ourselves permission to explore pleasures that society tells us are taboo.”

For example, up until recently I was too ashamed of my bimbofication kink to speak openly about it or write stories featuring it as a topic. So much of my identity is wrapped up in being intelligent, competent, and a good communicator—both verbally and in writing. I was afraid what it said about me that sometimes I want to be a carefree, cheerfully vapid slut. Even though I know feminism is about having choices, part of me felt guilty for playing this way. Could I be a good feminist while still making this particular choice? (Yes.)

A fantasy where I become the carefree slut deliberately, on my own, is harder. It’s heavy lifting, mentally, emotionally, and it’s going to take more effort to wade through my discomfort with that taboo. On the flip side, a fantasy where someone takes that choice away from me and forces me to become that version of myself? It’s as easy as handing the keys to the designated driver. I can slide right into that mindset, I can skip the shame and the stress and feel like I have permission to accept all the pleasure.

In recent months, I’ve been stressing a lot about bodily autonomy. Sometimes we want to avoid stressful topics when we explore erotic things. Other times, it feels really good to use stressful topics in erotic ways, to process our feelings and reclaim a sense of agency.

True, it’s ironic I’m reaffirming my agency by writing a story eroticizing a loss of control and bodily autonomy… but it’s still my choice. I wrote this story on my terms, to explore these themes in ways that feel really good to me. (Literally, each time I had to make a decision about where to take the story, I chose the option that turned my body on the most.) I’m releasing the story now in the hopes that if someone else out there needs to process stress in this way too, it’s here.

On a personal level, I’m releasing it now because I genuinely need it now. I’ve been struggling with boundaries and giving myself permission to rest. It wasn’t until this week that I realized I wrote a story focusing on the fantasy of someone taking away my shaky boundaries and imposing new ones: permission to have sex and rest from my anxious thoughts. Even just typing that sentence makes me want to sigh with relief. Fuck, just take me now!

The more stressful my career has become, the deeper my burnout in the nonprofit field, the more power these mind control and bimbo fantasies hold for me. When a lot of heavy things are on my sexual brakes, it’s hard to feel sexy no matter how much I press that accelerator. I’ve discovered that when I try a mind control fantasy, that someone is forcing me to become aroused, it’s a fantastic workaround. Examples might be shrinking or growing potions with aphrodisia as a side effect, or a remote control with buttons to increase arousal. For me, for most of the time, it works like a charm. Instant slut! I can set the stress aside. (Oh honey, sex toys don’t worry about all those things. Let the big people handle that. You just focus on shrinking and being sexy, okay?)

I began experimenting with hypnosis as a kink to help myself sink into that slutty, happy bimbo mindset, to lay down my mental load, and to carve out a little breathing room of peaceful pleasure. It worked partly because I was giving up control to someone else: the hypnokink Domme, a partner I trust, or characters I imagined in my fantasies. Usually someone bigger.

Giant/tiny fantasies almost always have to address the topic of control. Many people are drawn to the idea of a larger person making the decisions and having the power to do whatever they want (it just so happens that in our fantasies the Giant can magically know every nuance of just how we like it). Tinies are often depicted as helpless and have their abilities and bodily autonomy challenged.

In consensual sizeplay fantasies, the topic of control is usually addressed by demonstrating trust, communication, and a caring relationship where the Giant could take full control, but chooses to share it with the tiny in some way. (Examples: a Giant asking the tiny what they want, or a Giant taking care of a tiny by forcing them to rest and snuggle with them, but who stops when the tiny asks to stop.) This is a pretty good model for healthy relationships in general, and it’s what I practice in real life with my own partners.

In nonconsensual sizeplay fantasies, control is usually addressed by bullying, coercion, and denial of a person’s ability to make choices, sometimes through objectification (treating someone like a toy or pet… or a work of art). Dubcon (dubious consent) fantasies are a way to try and have it both ways, by stepping into the gray area of unclear communication, or a tiny who resists but seems to enjoy it, without ever clearly saying yes or no.

If you get turned on by these things too, and you also have had a crisis of identity, faith, or basic humanity about it… you’re not alone.

The Netflix documentary Sex Explained, narrated by the ever-amazing Janelle Monáe, covers the work of sex researcher Justin Lehmiller. A fellow of the Kinsey Institute, in 2018 Lehmiller surveyed almost 4200 Americans from all 50 states, “ranging in age from 18 to 87, ranging all different gender identities, sexual orientations, demographic and political backgrounds,” and asked them hundreds of questions.

His research showed that most people have fantasies: 97% had imagined an arousing sexual scenario. Fantasies fell into three broad genres: group sex, novelty, and power/control fantasies, with 27% of people rating power/control as their favorite kind of fantasy.

  • 79% of people had a bondage fantasy (restraining someone or being restrained)
  • 57% of people had a discipline fantasy (giving or following orders)
  • 73% of people had fantasies about pain (inflicting or receiving it)

Here’s the statistic I find most fascinating:

  • 54% of men, 61% of women, and 68% of nonbinary people had fantasized about being forced to have sex

If you have nonconsensual fantasies, you are not alone. 

The documentary mentions that “a 1987 survey of historical American romance novels, which are written and read mostly by women, found that more than half featured the rape of the lead female character.” The documentary then speculated that this was a way for American culture of the time to go about “absolving the heroine from the moral slur of consenting to have sexual intercourse before marriage,” according to one researcher.

So, where do we draw the line between contributing to rape culture and exploring our very common forced-sex fantasies? I believe the key is making it clear what is fantasy, and what is and is not acceptable in real life. I can’t imagine any of those romance novels offered any introduction with a discussion of consent, or what a reader should do if they found these themes appearing in their own lives.

Some years ago I worked at a nonprofit helping survivors of abuse and sexual assault. I learned a great deal about the complexity of these issues and how to fight to build a culture of consent. I also learned a lot about myself. I had a crisis about what it meant that my body responded to nonconsensual erotic fantasies. Finding my first kink-informed therapist made all the difference in the world.

I’ve written about this elsewhere, but it’s worth repeating what I learned from her:

Having fantasies where sex acts are forced on you or others does not mean you want to act on them in real life, or that you do not understand trauma or lack compassion for survivors of violence. It means your body responds to a fantasy, and you get to decide what you want to do with that information. We are not our thoughts, and we are not our fantasies. Some survivors find healing and liberation through exploration of noncon fantasies, and that’s okay. Some never want to interact with these themes again, and that’s okay too. As long as every real person involved in your fantasy play (such as you reading my story online) is a fully informed consenting adult, then the act you are participating in is inherently consensual.

A fantasy that I have for myself, or that I share with my consenting partner, is inherently consensual. That’s true even if the topic of the fantasy is pretending that I’m being forced against my will. If I fantasize that a Giant picks me up and shoves me in her panties without asking first, I am consenting to my own fantasy. If I explain my fantasy and ask my partner to roleplay that with me and they say yes, they are consenting to my fantasy. All the real people involved are able to say no and stop the fantasy at any point.

As a writer, I make sure to include content tags at the beginnings of my stories and fantasies so people can opt in or out with informed consent. I also make a practice of sharing resources for survivors whenever I publish noncon stories. Feel free to copy and adapt them as needed:

Beyond the realm of fantasy, I do not condone sex acts without consent. Erotic fantasy play between two individuals in reality in person and online should always include negotiation, fully informed consent, and protections such as content tags, safewords, aftercare, and emergency planning.

If you or anyone you know has experienced sexual harassment, trauma, abuse, or assault, I strongly suggest seeking advice and counseling from trained professionals. These are usually free and confidential. Some organizations that offer free resources are: RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) hotline at 800-656-HOPE; National Sexual Violence Resource Center to search for local help; Trans Lifeline Crisis Hotline by and for the transgender community at 877-565-8860; National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

We really need to take care of each other and ourselves right now. Be gentle with yourself. Set boundaries. Give yourself permission to “be lazy” if that’s what your brain and body need. Figure out how your body in particular asks you for different kinds of rest, like mental downtime or peace and quiet. Find ways to listen. If your brain and body don’t feel good about reading “Woman in Ecstasy” right now—if “all parts of yourself don’t consent to exploring this today” like my EMDR therapist would put it—then it’s okay to say no. You can come back later and see if your brain and body give you a different answer on a different day. It’s okay if it stays a no.

The most important thing is to listen to your body and decide what’s right for you. After all, no matter how much we fantasize otherwise, you’re the only one who can decide what’s right for you.

And, as always, my gratitude to everyone else out there living your best slutty kink lives. You have no idea how much you help other folks. Keep being yourselves.

Size Erotica: Woman, in Ecstasy, Chapter 3

“Woman, in Ecstasy” follows the story of a woman on a date with her boyfriend at a museum of sex. He convinces her to volunteer as part of a kinky art installation, where she grows, shrinks, and becomes a horny slut at the mercy of strangers—one of whom has eyes on her boyfriend. Read Chapter 1 and Chapter 2.

In Chapter 3, Noelle grows in more ways than one as she lets go of her stress and focuses on what matters most, like doing whatever it takes to be fucked to climax.

I’ll be unveiling this story in five chapters, each one lewder than the last. I’m proud to be able to offer author-read audio for each installment. This is a way to ensure increased accessibility for members of the kink community who use screen readers, and adds some extra sexiness for my fellow audiophiles.

Scroll to the story content section if you want to jump right to the story.

 

 

Topic & timing

This section grew (heh) into its own kinky blog post, which you can read in full here: Embracing My Inner Size Slut.

(Discussion of agency, bodily autonomy; nonconsensual themes in size play, hypnosis, mind control and bimbofication; mentions of trauma and resources for survivors of sexual assault.)

Why am I writing a story about a woman losing her agency? Why am I releasing it right now?

The short answer is that I began writing this back in April, and it’s done, and I want to share it.

The medium answer? My body responds to fantasies about giving up control, especially when I’m stressed. I’m far from alone in this. Many people have fantasies about someone forcing them to do the sexy things they find most arousing. My first kink-informed therapist told me that she believed “it’s a way to give ourselves permission to explore pleasures that society tells us are taboo.”

In recent months, I’ve been stressing a lot about bodily autonomy. Sometimes we want to avoid stressful topics when we explore erotic things. Other times, it feels really good to use stressful topics in erotic ways, to process our feelings and reclaim a sense of agency.

True, it’s ironic I’m reaffirming my agency by writing a story eroticizing a loss of control and bodily autonomy… but it’s still my choice. I wrote this story on my terms, to explore these themes in ways that feel really good to me. (Literally, each time I had to make a decision about where to take the story, I chose the option that turned my body on the most.) I’m releasing the story now in the hopes that if someone else out there needs to process stress in this way too, it’s here.

I’ve written about this elsewhere, but it’s worth repeating what I learned from her:

Having fantasies where sex acts are forced on you or others does not mean you want to act on them in real life, or that you do not understand trauma or lack compassion for survivors of violence. It means your body responds to a fantasy, and you get to decide what you want to do with that information. We are not our thoughts, and we are not our fantasies. Some survivors find healing and liberation through exploration of noncon fantasies, and that’s okay. Some never want to interact with these themes again, and that’s okay too. As long as every real person involved in your fantasy play (such as you reading my story online) is a fully informed consenting adult, then the act you are participating in is inherently consensual.

A fantasy that I have for myself, or that I share with my consenting partner, is inherently consensual. That’s true even if the topic of the fantasy is pretending that I’m being forced against my will. If I fantasize that a Giant picks me up and shoves me in her panties without asking first, I am consenting to my own fantasy. If I explain my fantasy and ask my partner to roleplay that with me and they say yes, they are consenting to my fantasy. All the real people involved are able to say no and stop the fantasy at any point.

For the record. Beyond the realm of fantasy, I do not condone sex acts without consent. Erotic fantasy play between two individuals in reality in person and online should always include negotiation, fully informed consent, and protections such as content tags, safewords, aftercare, and emergency planning.

If you or anyone you know has experienced sexual harassment, trauma, abuse, or assault, I strongly suggest seeking advice and counseling from trained professionals. These are usually free and confidential. See my blog post for a full list of resources for survivors.

We really need to take care of each other and ourselves right now. Be gentle with yourself. Set boundaries. Figure out how your body in particular asks you for different kinds of rest, like mental downtime or peace and quiet. Find ways to listen. If your brain and body don’t feel good about reading this story right now—if “all parts of yourself don’t consent to exploring this today” like my EMDR therapist would put it—then it’s okay to say no. You can come back later and see if your brain and body give you a different answer on a different day. It’s okay if it stays a no.

The most important thing is to listen to your body and decide what’s right for you. After all, no matter how much we fantasize otherwise, you’re the only one who can decide what’s right for you.

 

Artwork & shout-outs

I’m thrilled and deeply grateful to @pseudo_size for creating this GORGEOUS and sexy render art of one of my favorite moments in the story.

Render art by @pseudo_size of a giantess growing inside a glass room in a museum, while two smaller people look on from outside. A man stands at the controls, and a woman holds a towel closed while smirking down at the giantess, who looks very aroused and has her hand up as if begging. Her breasts are expanding at enormous sizes.
Art by pseudo_size. Do not repost without permission.

It’s no exaggeration to say that this story would not be what it is without pseudo and his help. His skill and empathy in beta reading, his insight into character development, story arcs, strengths and vulnerabilities, all of it helped me tell the story I was trying to tell.

Please go check out his art and writing, including a new story he began sharing for Pride Month, Holding Space. It’s one of the sexiest stories I’ve ever read in the size kink community.

 

Story inspirations

Inspiration for this story comes partly from a place that’s been on my bucket list for years, The Vagina Museum. It’s hardly the only museum of sex, but it is the world’s first bricks-and-mortar museum “dedicated to the gynaecological anatomy.” Learn how to support their work in my introduction to Chapter 1 (and discover why I’ve chosen to depict nonprofits in this way).

 

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have twelve works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

 

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for the story overall will include:

F/m/f, f/M/F, f/F – (shrinking, growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, hypnosis, begging, orgasm denial, jealousy, cuckolding, BDSM, voyeurism, masturbation, entrapment, claustrophobia mention, licking, sucking on fingers and feet, kisses, insertion, cunnilingus, penetration, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

Tags for this chapter in particular include:

F/m/f, f/M/F – (shrinking, growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, begging, orgasm denial, cuckolding, BDSM, entrapment, claustrophobia mention, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

 

 

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to an 18-minute author-read version of the story here.

I recorded this audio in a single take, and this is my first time editing my own audio, so please go easy on me. If you’d like to help me buy a bonafide mic and a pop filter to make the sound quality better for future recordings, I’d welcome donations of any size.

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

 

Size Erotica: Woman, in Ecstasy, Chapter 2

“Woman, in Ecstasy” follows the story of a woman on a date with her boyfriend at a museum of sex. He convinces her to volunteer as part of a kinky art installation, where she grows, shrinks, and becomes a horny slut at the mercy of strangers—one of whom has eyes on her boyfriend. Read Chapter 1 here.

In Chapter 2, Noelle learns the hard way about arousal, inhibitions, and the importance of asking for what you want during sex. Or in her case, during sexually explicit interactive art.

I’ll be unveiling this story in five chapters, each one lewder than the last. I’m proud to be able to offer author-read audio for each installment. This is a way to ensure increased accessibility for members of the kink community who use screen readers, and adds some extra sexiness for my fellow audiophiles.

Scroll to the story content section if you want to jump right to the story.

 

Artwork & shout-outs

I’m thrilled and deeply grateful to @pseudo_size for creating this GORGEOUS and sexy render art of one of my favorite moments in the story.

Render art by @pseudo_size of a giantess growing inside a glass room in a museum, while two smaller people look on from outside. A man stands at the controls, and a woman holds a towel closed while smirking down at the giantess, who looks very aroused and has her hand up as if begging. Her breasts are expanding at enormous sizes.
Art by pseudo_size. Do not repost without permission.

It’s no exaggeration to say that this story would not be what it is without pseudo and his help. His skill and empathy in beta reading, his insight into character development, story arcs, strengths and vulnerabilities, all of it helped me tell the story I was trying to tell.

Please go check out his art and writing, including a new story he began sharing for Pride Month, Holding Space. It’s one of the sexiest stories I’ve ever read in the size kink community.

 

Story inspirations

Inspiration for this story comes partly from a place that’s been on my bucket list for years, The Vagina Museum. It’s hardly the only museum of sex, but it is the world’s first bricks-and-mortar museum “dedicated to the gynaecological anatomy.” Learn how to support their work in my introduction to Chapter 1 (and discover why I’ve chosen to depict nonprofits in this way).

 

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have twelve works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

 

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for the story overall will include:

F/m/f, f/M/F, f/F – (shrinking, growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, hypnosis, begging, orgasm denial, jealousy, cuckolding, BDSM, voyeurism, masturbation, entrapment, claustrophobia mention, licking, sucking on fingers and feet, kisses, insertion, cunnilingus, penetration, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

Tags for this chapter in particular include:

F/m/f – (growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, begging, jealousy, cuckolding, BDSM)

 

 

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to a 19-minute author-read version of the story here.

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

 

Size Erotica: Woman, in Ecstasy

I am immensely proud of this story. I began it in early April as a Kinky Scribble and have worked on it for the last three months as a form of both escapism and conversely, as a way to learn more about myself. It helped me to explore my sexuality. What do I find erotic? Why? What does that say about me? Leaning into those questions has taken me on a ride this year. It’s been healing and exciting, and really, really kinky.

“Woman, in Ecstasy” follows the story of a woman on a date with her boyfriend at a museum of sex. He convinces her to volunteer as part of a kinky art installation, where she grows, shrinks, and becomes a horny slut at the mercy of strangers—one of whom has eyes on her boyfriend.

I’ll be unveiling this story in five chapters, each one lewder than the last. I’m proud to be able to offer author-read audio for each installment. This is a way to ensure increased accessibility for members of the kink community who use screen readers, and adds some extra sexiness for my fellow audiophiles.

Scroll to the story content section if you want to jump right to the story.

 

Artwork & shout-outs

I’m thrilled and deeply grateful to @pseudo_size for creating this GORGEOUS and sexy render art of one of my favorite moments in the story.

Render art by @pseudo_size of a giantess growing inside a glass room in a museum, while two smaller people look on from outside. A man stands at the controls, and a woman holds a towel closed while smirking down at the giantess, who looks very aroused and has her hand up as if begging. Her breasts are expanding at enormous sizes.
Art by pseudo_size. Do not repost without permission.

It’s no exaggeration to say that this story would not be what it is without pseudo and his help. His skill and empathy in beta reading, his insight into character development, story arcs, strengths and vulnerabilities, all of it helped me tell the story I was trying to tell.

Please go check out his art and writing, including a new story he’s sharing for Pride Month, Holding Space. It’s one of the sexiest stories I’ve ever read in the size kink community.

 

Story inspirations

Inspiration for this story comes partly from a place that’s been on my bucket list for years, The Vagina Museum. It’s hardly the only museum of sex, but it is the world’s first bricks-and-mortar museum “dedicated to the gynaecological anatomy.” They have a snarky, outrageous, and fascinating Twitter account. They have a podcast covering topics like “Muff Busters: Vagina Myths.” Their gift shop is full of awesome vagina and vulva stuff, from bags and flags to art prints, jewelry and menstrual products. They’re doing vital, groundbreaking work, and they’re doing it for free because they believe in access for all to this kind of education. They nearly went under during the start of the pandemic due to some patriarchal, sex-shaming bullshit, so please consider supporting them if you’re able. (And if you want to buy my polycule and me a plane ticket to the UK to cross this off my bucket list, here’s my PayPal!)

The Vagina Museum first introduced me to the particular piece of shunga art mentioned in this story. Yes, in 1827 one of Japan’s most successful ukiyo-e woodblock artists, Utagawa Kunisada, really did create a work of erotic art where a giant vagina blasts sunshine at two tiny people. And if you’re into hypercocks, “genital exaggeration” is a common feature of shunga. You’re welcome.

All of the more fucked-up representations of nonprofit culture depicted in this story were inspired by my own experience in the nonprofit world here in Texas, where people who care a lot about good causes find themselves doing more and more desperate things for basic survival during the throes of late-stage capitalism. If you care about nonprofit work, I’d encourage you to follow Vu Le of Nonprofit AF, who is leading the charge against crappy funding practices with snarky, honest responses to philanthropists and salary disclosure with a side of sarcastic unicorns. My point is that nonprofits are desperate, now more than ever, and systemic inequities are causing people and orgs to become versions of themselves they cannot hope to sustain. All of which is to say, I’m certain that the badass folks at the Vagina Museum would never keep an exhibit like the one I fantasized about. But if they ever did, and if they were ever taking volunteers… you know, just for a day…

 

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have twelve works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

 

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know if I have missed anything important.

Tags for the story overall will include:

F/m/f, f/M/F, f/F – (shrinking, growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, hypnosis, begging, orgasm denial, jealousy, cuckolding, BDSM, voyeurism, masturbation, entrapment, claustrophobia mention, licking, sucking on fingers and feet, kisses, insertion, cunnilingus, penetration, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

Tags for this chapter in particular include:

F/m/f – (shrinking, growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, orgasm denial, BDSM, entrapment, claustrophobia mention)

 

 

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to a 21-minute author-read version of the story here.

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

 

Size Erotica: A Scarlet R

(This blog post and story include discussion and themes of noncon/rape, revenge, and humiliation.) 

 

I am fiercely proud of this story. I am proud of myself for writing it, and for being brave enough to post it. “A Scarlet R” is far darker than my usual stories, and helped me process some old pain and fury.

It has taken me a year and seven months to publish it because I told myself I wanted art for the story, and I recorded audio as well (that will be released at a later date), but in truth I just did not have it in me to face these demons again with all the struggle of the pandemic. I have compassion for myself on that, and I’m glad I was able to keep going by writing other stories, and by finding ways to better understand how sexuality works under stress.

I’m pleased to say that I’ve turned a corner in life stress for a number of reasons, and I feel ready to release this now. In more ways than one.

 

On the merits of anger

Once upon a time, when I was a college student and young witch going to parties at places like the one that inspired this story’s setting, I used to believe anger had no place in my life. Anger was terrifying, anger was destructive. And anger comes with a far higher social cost for women than for men.

In recent years, I have learned the hard way that anger denied can become depression—and that anger harnessed for a cause can also be vital fuel for change.

Anger is usually at least one of two things: a protection, or a protest. The fury I brought to bear on this story is rooted in both of those forces.

To quote Andrea Gibson:

Every feminist who has ever
taken the high road will tell you
the high road gets backed up
and sometimes you have to
take a detour directly through
the heart of uncensored rage.

 

Commissioned artwork

I am so very excited to release the artwork I commissioned from Hollewdz, a talented artist from the #SizeTwitter community who creates gorgeous sexy size play artwork. I know this is a departure from her usual themes, and I appreciate her understanding, attention to detail, and patience with me. Be sure to click into the images for larger versions!

A woman with blonde hair, grey eyes, and pale skin leans forward over a table while holding a red marker in her hand. On the table is a white canvas on an easel, where a tiny, nude man is taped to the surface. He has grey hair at the temples, pale skin, and his penis is flaccid. The woman is wearing a grey shirt and black pants. The canvas is blank. There is a black marker on the table and in the corners of the image are red brackets like it's being recorded.
Illustration credit to @Hollewdz. Do not repost without permission. Click to see full image. Commission the artist and support her on Patreon at https://twitter.com/hollewdz

 

A woman with blonde hair, grey eyes, and pale skin leans forward over a table while holding a red marker in her hand. On the table is a white canvas on an easel, where a tiny, nude man is taped to the surface. He has grey hair at the temples, pale skin, and his penis is flaccid. The woman is wearing a grey shirt and black pants. The canvas is covered in the words "pig, clown, piece of shit, freak, scum bag, asshole, fucker, cunt, bastard, sicko, creep, loser, idiot, misogynist, trash, and coward." There is a black marker on the table and in the corners of the image are red brackets like it's being recorded.
Illustration credit to @Hollewdz. Do not repost without permission. Click to see full image. Commission the artist and support her on Patreon at https://twitter.com/hollewdz

For the record, she worked quickly and efficiently and was done by last February, and the delay was due to my own struggles to revisit the intense themes of this story (plus the stress of the ice storm that shut down Texas that month). I’m excited to finally be able to share her amazing work! Please commission her the next time her comms are open, and support her on Patreon!

 

Feedback & community response

“A Scarlet R” placed in the following categories in the SizeRiot Cruel January 2020 contest, hosted by the hardworking and talented Aborigen-gts​:

  • “Had a striking opening line” – 1st place
  • “Got you wrapped up in threatening circumstances” –  3-way tie for 1st place
  • “Featured ‘humiliation’ the best” –  tied for 2nd place
  • “Featured ‘psychological cruelty’ the best”– 5th place

I appreciate the feedback I received for this story. As always, I’m deeply grateful to my beta readers and everyone who read my work and reviewed it.

Here’s what the readers had to say:

“One of my favorite stories. I loved the Shakespeare touches, of course. It didn’t really feel like a cruel story, as I related to the female characters, and the righteousness of their actions.”

“A horrifying catharsis. Like avenging banshees… The group dynamic of women exacting justice was delicious.”

“The opening line is especially striking… Evocative, as brilliant as the eponymous scarlet. It’s the starting march to a cavalcade of righteous shaming… In terms of the cruelty themes, I have to say this was a knock out of the park in terms of “humiliation” and “psychological cruelty”… A very good reversal of power there, and one easy to enjoy vicariously.”

“Your language is so vivid and descriptive. This is a true example of poetic justice. That closing line was so powerful… Simply a fantastic story.”

“Holy shit. I’m shaking. I need a cigarette and I don’t smoke… I can’t say enough good things about this piece. I think of anything I’ve ever read in the sizeplay community, this is the highest art I’ve ever seen.”

 

Consent and Support for Survivors

Consent: Beyond the realm of fantasy, I do not condone sex acts without consent. Erotic fantasy play between two individuals in reality in person and online should always include negotiation, fully informed consent, and protections such as content tags, safewords, aftercare, and emergency planning. For more sex resources about safe kink and erotic fantasy play, I recommend The New Bottoming Book and The New Topping Book, both by Dossie Eastman and Janet Hardy. A great resource for exploring consent is the Consent Wizard on Instagram, author of the article Should Enthusiasm Be a Requirement for Sex? 

Noncon fantasy: Nonconsensual fantasies are common among people of all genders, and if your body responds to these fantasies, you are not alone. Having fantasies where sex acts are forced on you or others does not mean you want to act on them in real life, or that you do not understand trauma or lack compassion for survivors of violence. It means your body responds to a fantasy, and you get to decide what you want to do with that information. We are not our thoughts, and we are not our fantasies. Some survivors find healing and liberation through exploration of noncon fantasies, and that’s okay. Some never want to interact with these themes again, and that’s okay too. As long as every real person involved in your fantasy play (such as you reading my story online) is a fully informed consenting adult, then the act you are participating in is inherently consensual. 

Seeking help: If you or anyone you know has experienced sexual harassment, trauma, abuse, or assault, I strongly suggest seeking advice and counseling from trained professionals. Some organizations that offer free resources are: RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network) hotline at 800-656-HOPE; National Sexual Violence Resource Center to search for local help; Trans Lifeline Crisis Hotline by and for the transgender community at 877-565-8860; National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233 or TTY 1−800−787−3224.

 

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Coming soon, check back for a 20-minute author-read version

TEXT VERSION: Read the full story behind the cut.

 

Kinky Scribbles: Nude on a Cloth Napkin

Kinky Scribbles installment five! This writing exercise has been so immensely helpful to me as a tool to break past my anxieties as a writer.

I make notes about how long it took me to write and edit because I’m trying to recalibrate my sense of when something is “done enough” to share.

In the past I would write a thing and leave it in my files to collect dust because I was convinced it needed some unknowable quantity of edits, a goal with constantly shifting measures of success. When I limit myself to a scribble, the path becomes so much clearer. It’s been really good practice for me, so I’m going to keep it up for the foreseeable future.

Nude on a Cloth Napkin

(F/m, Giantess, male tiny, shrinking, mouthplay, food play, adultery, noncon, nudity, humiliation)

Note: the word napkin is US usage, not UK where it apparently means a diaper for a baby. Here it’s the piece of cloth you use to clean up during a meal.

465 words, 45 mins writing, 20 mins editing

Erotica Contest: The Therapist Will See You Now

Photo credit to JC Gellidon on Unsplash, shared with a Creative Commons License: unsplash.com/photos/HODf717sOkA

“Being lost in the folds of a submissive woman’s labia, her domme lover not believing any part of this ‘shrinking friend’ story. Then the discipline starts. Hot damn, that’s hot.”

I’m proud to share “The Therapist Will See You Now,” my entry for the Cruel January 2019 SizeRiot Erotica Contest, hosted by the hardworking and talented Aborigen-gts​. The story tied for second place in the “Most Arousing” category.

I appreciate the feedback I received for this story, which was not as cruel as I originally intended to make it. As always, I’m deeply grateful to my beta readers and everyone who read my work and reviewed it.

What did people enjoy most about this story? Here’s what the readers had to say:

Most Arousing:

A story that manages to be playful, in-your-face, and casual in its sexiness.

Being lost in the folds of a submissive woman’s labia, her domme lover not believing any part of this “shrinking friend” story. Then the discipline starts. Hot damn, that’s hot.

A domme using a strap-on on your girlfriend while you’re trapped at ground zero? Speaks for itself.

The entire setup was just so sexy. I loved the unaware aspect. The desperate shrinking. Really well done.

Best Main Character:

Dr. Rodriguez was well-developed. Her smallest reactions spoke volumes about her personality, which was both intimidating and attractive. I would love to see more of her in action.

Dr. Rodriguez had such a strong and commanding personality. Very good and dominant.

Interesting Size Difference:

it was a great use of unaware and micro scenarios. The dominant giantess was not even aware of the tiny, nor would she seem to care if she knew. The tiny was truly insignificant to the others.

Solid Writing:

The characters were dynamic. It was sexy. The set up was unique.

More by This Author:

Such a strong solid take on extreme sizes with immediately grabbing and developed characters.

General Comments:

If I could commission an image to be made from a single scene from any of the stories in this entire contest, it would be the silhouette of Mark looking out from Beth’s labia up at the smirking scrutiny of Dr. Rodriguez.

You get the specialest of props for incorporating actual BDSM themes into size works, extra special for combining them with a tight cast of extremely colorful interesting characters. Also, hot giga epic cruelty. A+.

Ready for more? I added 600+ words back into the story after submission. You have two options to enjoy:

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to a 20-minute author-read version of the story. Thanks to Dick, The Micro Giant, for Audio Engineering this piece. He takes commissions!

Audio is now available here on Soundgasm.net.

(If you’re wondering where the YouTube video went, after two years, 11,178 views, and 81 likes, someone finally reported my content as containing sexual material. I have a strike against my account there for 90 days and will be moving what I can to Soundgasm.)

TEXT VERSION: Read the full story behind the cut.