I have a surprise for you, my lovelies. If any of you were in the audience at SizeCon in November of 2021, you may remember me getting a little hot and heavy during the live readings of erotica. You may also remember that, as the last story to go, I had to cut the reading short because we ran out of time. I am pleased to share that I recorded my portion of the reading, and took a break from panels to finish reading my story “Little Clara” for you.
Big gratitude to my partner pseudo_size for editing the audio! And many thanks to Praedatorius for organizing the event, corralling writers and voice actors, and introducing many in the size kink community to the joys of sexy audio.
Please enjoy ~
Little Clara: BSDM in his pocket in public [Extreme Size Difference] [Male Giant] [Shrunken Woman] [Narrative] [Public] [BDSM] [Ownership] [Objectification] [Entrapment] [Smothering] [Fear] [Feels] [L-bomb] [Bukkake] [16mins]
Clara wakes up nude in her boyfriend’s pocket at work. But she wants to go someplace much, much warmer.
You may notice I’m sharing tags a little differently now. This is because I’ve begin exploring the world of r/GoneWildAudio, where people submit naughty recordings of themselves. Their tagging system is beautiful and robust! They use some terminology differently, so I’ll try to still use what I know to be common on SizeTwitter as well.
I appreciate NjordOfTheTides introducing me to the platform. I’m excited to have connected with some of the size kink audiophiles, and look forward to creating more written and audio content!
Introducing Big & Snuggly, a 1080-word kinky scribble collaboration between myself and pseudoclever, featuring some romance and polyamorous dynamics between a Giant woman and her partner.
Collaborating on a kinky scribble
Because this was inspired by role play between pseudo and myself, I handled it a little differently than my previous kinky scribbles. (See below for more about how my scribbles usually work.) I checked in with him before writing and also made space for him to beta read, so he could review and update the actions and words I had written for him.
Why the extra steps? Beyond maintaining trust with my partner, a common part of online roleplay etiquette is that you don’t write the other person’s actions or dialogue for them. This is important no matter how little agency they might have in the scene itself, because outside the scene they are still a full human being. Everyone involved with any scene should be able to opt in or out with fully informed consent at any point. To quote Hardy and Eastman in The Bottoming Book, “We believe that you can play more, with more people, more safely, and go further out on the edge, if you start from the position of two equals negotiating something they both want to do.”
It became a fun collaborative piece and I’m grateful to be able to share this playful moment.
A Kinky Scribble is a flash-fiction writing exercise idea I’ve been developing since January 2020, as a tool to break past my anxieties as a writer. Read my past Kinky Scribbles and learn more on my page, The Kinky Scribble Challenge.
The strategy is to produce creative content in a short amount of time, give it minimal edits, and then release it into the wild for others to enjoy. My goals are to practice my fiction-writing skills, to produce more content while still reconnecting with the parts of writing I enjoy most, and to re-calibrate my sense of when something is “done enough” to share.
If you want to participate, I strongly encourage all #KinkyScribble creators to tag their content so that readers can opt in or out with fully informed consent. I’m not perfect about this, but practice has been helping, and I’m committed to doing better in the future. I always welcome help in tagging—please let me know if I have missed anything important.
Kinky Scribble: Big & Snuggly
(Content includes: F/m, growth, nudity, flirting, some romance, polyamory/ethical nonmonogamy, and mild claustrophobia)
1087 words; 1 hour and 15 minutes of writing time with two rounds of edits at about 30 minutes each, with an estimated 20-30 minutes for the beta read; 2 hours, 45 minutes total.
Welcome to my eighth Kinky Scribble, a 2500-word shrunken woman story inspired by @GTSMarsh‘s response to this tweet. Thanks for the writing prompt, Marsh!
Celebrating International Women’s Day by embracing my #ShrunkenWoman kink & creating a profile at https://t.co/u3yZ5SK4tA, a forum for “the judge-free discussion of Giant men & tiny women.”
I’m considering writing some new M/f kinky scribbles for it, too. Any prompt suggestions? pic.twitter.com/cUnGs3MAT0
— Elle Largesse (tired) (@mightytinygiant) March 9, 2021
I also want to thank @pseudo_size for suggesting the title for this story. “Little Clara” was a great snapshot of what came through in the narrative. Thank you for seeing that and reflecting it back to me.
A Kinky Scribble is a flash-fiction writing exercise idea I’ve been developing since January 2020, as a tool to break past my anxieties as a writer. Read my past Kinky Scribbles and search the #KinkyScribble tag itself on Twitter.
The strategy is to produce creative content in a short amount of time, give it minimal edits, and then release it into the wild for others to enjoy. My goals are to practice my fiction-writing skills, to produce more content while still reconnecting with the parts of writing I enjoy most, and to re-calibrate my sense of when something is “done enough” to share.
This strategy won’t be for everyone, but it’s helping me to keep writing in a low-stakes way, and sharing stories with others. Otherwise I tend to hang onto my content for a very long time trying to perfect it, and it never sees the light of day. That’s not helpful to me, to my writing, or to my community. Better to share something imperfect, than nothing at all. I’m trying to lean into the Andy Warhol philosophy:
“Don’t think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art.”
Feel free to join in and create your own kinky scribble! Don’t feel obliged to follow my same format of listing my word count and writing/editing times. It’s really useful to me to re-calibrate my time estimates, and to prove to myself that I can make good content in uncomfortably short time frames.
And speaking of comfort zones, I strongly encourage all #KinkyScribble creators to tag their content so that readers can opt in or out with fully informed consent. I’m not perfect about this, but practice has been helping, and I’m committed to doing better in the future.
Kinky Scribble installment seven! If you’re here for the sexy times, skip to the “read more.” Otherwise, continue below for an update on my inspiration for this story, why this is my first scribble in six months, and my hypothesis for why the sexy words finally, finally came. (Pun intended.)
Inspiration & Responsive vs Spontaneous Sexual Desire
On the surface, my inspiration for this story would seem to originate with this tweet and this tweet. If you ask to go deeper (please, deeper, harder) then I will share with you that the inspiration came from one of my first roleplay sessions with the talented @pseudo_size, a fellow polyamorous kink writer who has brought much inspiration to my life this year. You can read more of his work here, including a fantastic dark noncon commission he did for me in July. This weekend when I found myself fantasizing about two of the characters from that first February session, I messaged him privately to explore the concept, and he was very obliging with his response. It left me thirsty for more, in a way I haven’t felt in a long time.
(Content warning for discussion of mental health.) My regular readers know that I’ve been struggling with trauma and a decreased desire for sex a lot this year. I won’t go into that in detail here, but I have learned a lot about the concept of sexual brakes and sexual accelerators, and how arousal works in relation to stress and mental health. My blog post Sexual Brakes, Trauma, & Kink in the Burning 20’s explores how I have used size kink in stress cycle exercises to release stress, fight depression, and find my way back to arousal.
Even with all that hard work and experimentation, in the last six months I have found my own turn-ons to be rooted firmly in responsive desire—when your brain only gets turned on when something sexy is already happening—and in my case, it’s mostly in contexts with people I trust a great deal, like my partners. Pre-pandemic, finding my turn-on for writing erotica was as easy as turning a faucet, most days. Spontaneous and fun. But in the last half year, the faucet has required some creative encouragement to function at all. For example, trying to find my turn-on for a sex scene in SizeRiot’s HistoricalJuly20 contest required patience, tremendous effort, and a lot of trial and error. It was a mental puzzle, not a physical inspiration.
So how the hell did I wake up Saturday morning spontaneously fantasizing about sex? After so long, how on earth did I finally feel inspired enough to dash off 1600 words of sensually charged erotica? With no deadline, no contest, no context of a loving partner hoping for my next kiss or my next paragraph?
I’ve only experienced spontaneous sexual desire a few times during the pandemic, and each time came directly after some stressor in my life resolved itself. The work crisis ended with a lucky break. The estranged family member answered my messages. I finally asked for help about something that had me burned out. Within 12-24 hours, each time I found myself experiencing wave after wave of spontaneous arousal. It was as if my body took a deep breath and said, “FINALLY! It’s safe enough for sexy times. Release the arousal!”
A door in my mind opened and erotica came flooding out.
When I shared the story with Pseudo afterward, I blushed hard at his response. “You really turned a quick few sentences about this concept from me into one of the sexiest pieces of size writing I’ve ever read.”
Kinky Scribble recipe & reasoning
A Kinky Scribble is a flash-fiction writing exercise idea I’ve been developing since January 2020, as a tool to break past my anxieties as a writer. Read my past Kinky Scribbles and search the #KinkyScribble tag itself on Twitter.
The strategy is to produce creative content in a short amount of time, give it minimal edits, and then release it into the wild for others to enjoy. My goals are to practice my fiction-writing skills, to produce more content while still reconnecting with the parts of writing I enjoy most, and to re-calibrate my sense of when something is “done enough” to share.
Feel free to join in! Don’t feel obliged to follow my same format of listing my word count and writing/editing times. It’s really useful to me to re-calibrate my time estimates, and to prove to myself that I can make good content in uncomfortably short time frames.
And speaking of comfort zones, I strongly encourage all #KinkyScribble creators to tag their content so that readers can opt in or out with fully informed consent. I’m not perfect about this, but practice has been helping, and I’m committed to doing better in the future.
Kinky Scribble installment six! If you’re here for the sexy times, skip to the “read more.” Otherwise, continue below for my update on other writers taking the challenge, and to read my own writerly pep-talk.
Scribble me some kink
A Kinky Scribble is a flash-fiction writing exercise idea I’ve been developing since January 2020, as a tool to break past my anxieties as a writer. Read my past Kinky Scribbles and search the #KinkyScribble tag itself on Twitter. The strategy is to produce creative content in a short amount of time, give it minimal edits, and then release it into the wild for others to enjoy. My goals are to practice my fiction-writing skills, to produce more content while still reconnecting with the parts of writing I enjoy most, and to re-calibrate my sense of when something is “done enough” to share.
I’ve been thrilled to see other creatives joining in! Remember, this isn’t just limited to writing—my original idea was inspired by watching artists I respect share sketches and scribbles in addition to their more polished content. I wished so badly that I could do the same, instead of letting my longer projects collect dust on my drive, getting more and more out-of-step with my current writing style. Kinky Scribbles has been a way for me to emulate those artists, instead of just envying them. I suspect that this kind of strategy could work well for a variety of creative endeavors.
Check out these nine stories from talented writers (in alphabetical order):
Pseudoclever, who was generous enough to volunteer his time to beta-read this particular scribble, frames it like this: “#KinkyScribble is SUCH a good idea when you’re feeling stuck.” As Freepass says, a Kinky Scribble is “an inspiration to ignore your negative voices and just write!”
If you do join in, don’t feel obliged to follow my same format of listing my word count and writing/editing times. It’s really useful to me to re-calibrate my time estimates, and to prove to myself that I can make good content in times that I secretly find so short that they’re cringe-worthy. Each time I do this, I cringe a little less.
And speaking of comfort zones, I strongly encourage all #KinkyScribble creators to tag their content so that readers can opt in or out with fully informed consent. I’m not perfect about this, but practice has been helping, and I’m committed to doing better in the future.
A note about using the hashtag: you’ll find some older posts under #KinkyScribbles, before I began to realize that its drawback as a hashtag is that sometimes you want to use it in a plural way, and others in a singular way. Moving forward, I intend to stick to just singular.
Elle’s writerly pep-talk
This is the first Kinky Scribble I’ve allowed myself to write and finish since mid-February. I forgive myself for struggling. I forgive myself for being human. I’m in fact giving myself a pat on the back for listening to my body and mental health and putting writing on hold for a while as work stress began to eat my brain, and then everything dissolved into the all-consuming terror of a genuine global pandemic. We have to take care of ourselves first.
Creative expression can be part of the healing process, and a fun and healthy way to channel sexuality and process darkness. But creating for the sake of creation at the expense of limited mental and emotional resources, especially during a time of pain, struggle, and fear, seems irresponsibly ableist and capitalist to me. We are worth more than our productivity. In a kink sense, we are worth more than our ability to Dominate or submit to others, worth more than a quick jerkoff session for a stranger, or a friend, or even someone we love. We are human beings first and foremost. So that’s why I forgive myself for taking a break.
And because I’m human, and doing the work on my own mental health, I’m grateful to have these avenues of expression to help me explore my sexuality… to share and celebrate those expressions with others. There are so many reasons I’m grateful for #SizeTwitter, but that may be one of the top reasons on my list today.
And now… to the kink! This particular idea came to me after seeing this tweet from BetterCallSmall, who is running a project of his own called #SizeSongs, to help people discover new size-themed songs each week. The song featured in the tweet, and the music video that goes with it, is an old favorite of mine from the days when I checked Postsecret regularly, and it was a pleasure to rediscover it. I’m looking forward to hearing more.
Wash Your Tinies
(Content includes: F/x, Giantess, gender-neutral tiny, nudity on camera for a public YouTube video, soap, water, massage, singing, spanking, illness and pandemic discussion, gentle, romantic feelings. Second person POV, with a genderless You.)
1689 words; 50 minutes writing time; 55 mins editing time (including 45 minutes after a beta read)
Kinky Scribbles installment five! This writing exercise has been so immensely helpful to me as a tool to break past my anxieties as a writer.
I make notes about how long it took me to write and edit because I’m trying to recalibrate my sense of when something is “done enough” to share.
In the past I would write a thing and leave it in my files to collect dust because I was convinced it needed some unknowable quantity of edits, a goal with constantly shifting measures of success. When I limit myself to a scribble, the path becomes so much clearer. It’s been really good practice for me, so I’m going to keep it up for the foreseeable future.
Note: the word napkin is US usage, not UK where it apparently means a diaper for a baby. Here it’s the piece of cloth you use to clean up during a meal.
And far more sincere thanks to my friend Dick, the Micro Giant, who let me roleplay this little comfort scene off and on today to work through these feelings.
Ten minutes. Just a scribble. Let go of whatever you think this needs to be, Elle. Just write.
(Ten minutes turned into an hour and a half of writing, with another half hour of edits. I never know if I should feel pleased at my accomplishment when this happens, or annoyed with my inability to keep my projects small. I do feel really good about this one, though.)
Kinky Scribbles: Body Pillow
(M/f, male Giant, female tiny, shrinking, cuddles, cock play, comfort. Second person POV addressed to a male “you.”)
1020 words, est. 1.5 hours of writing, 0.5 hours of editing
Thanks to Elvin Ruiz for making this photo available freely on @unsplash with a Creative Commons License – https://unsplash.com/photos/jfnFxUZ3NGg
Round two of my Kinky Scribbles experiment to help me get words on the page and lower the stakes of writing.
I’m dealing with big feelings from my size dysmorphia today, so it’s the only thing I can think of to explore right now. For the record, I’m typing on my phone to make this quick, and as always it’s very surreal. Somehow it’s not as bad as typing on the computer, though, so that’s something.
All right. Ten minutes, no pressure, no plan. Let’s see what happens.
I have had the good luck to end up with a writing coach for the month of January, and she’s helping me figure out ways to lower the stakes of writing more often, both for erotica and for my mainstream projects.
Step one is to attempt what I’m calling “writing scribbles” that will be quick, short, relatively unplanned, and can have only one round of edits before sharing with the world.
This is basically what I achieved many times over with Tumblr’s format, and what I’ve been avoiding with my shiny personal website for the last year. As if I went from a commuter train full of conversations with friends and acquaintances I see regularly, to a personal vehicle where I make all the decisions of where to go, and I do it alone, and have to roll down the window or deliberately invite people inside to talk to them. It’s clunky, lonely, and it feels like the stakes are higher (silly ideas about identity, success, connection) if I decide to go in the wrong direction or say the wrong thing.
Fuck the wrong thing. Nothing is wrong–it’s either unethical, painful, uncomfortable, or various shades of awkward. I might regret a thing, but who cares? It’s on my website, and I’m in control of whether or not it continues to see the light of day. I’m going to take the steps to make sure it’s as ethical as I can make it, by offering tags and informed consent and giving credit to other writers and artists. As for pain, that can heal. Discomfort and awkwardness are also hallmarks of change and growth. Nobody ever made progress or created something wonderful by staying 100% comfortable.
Scribbles can be drawing, writing, any kind of creative art. The point is that it has to be quick, simple, and low-stakes.
At this point in my process, I’m not allowed to turn it into a big thing or make extra work for myself with extra ideas. I’m not adding it to my mainstream works. I’m sticking to kinky content only, because it’s the one kind of writing that brings me the most joy and escapism right now. And also because it’s a way to keep my scope small.
Ironically for someone with size dysmorphia, I have no idea how to keep my ideas and goals small.
I know how to “go big or go home” in other parts of my life, but over the years I’ve let it become too overwhelming with writing because I get cloudy with assumptions of what it means to be a writer and what it means to be “enough.” (Fuck you very much, Impostor Syndrome.) Even discussing the scribbles concept with the coach and how to fit 10 minutes into my schedule a week, I quickly morphed the discussion into how I could carve out 30 minutes a day, every day. When she pointed that out and reminded me that I am already enough regardless of how many minutes I can or can’t put into my schedule right now, I burst into tears.
Fuck going big all the time, fuck that overachiever mindset that’s burned me out so many times. Fuck the toxic productivity culture of never believing I’m enough.
I want to learn how to go small. I’m a sizeshifter, damnit. This is a skill I can develop, just like any other. I just need to find a way to show up and do the work without self-sabotaging all my efforts with last-minute deadline scrambles and other misguided attempts at staying comfortably far away from risk and failure.
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