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Tag: macrophilia

Taking Up Space

Portrait of Elle Largesse by DTV_art
Portrait of Elle Largesse by the talented DTV_art, https://twitter.com/dtv_art

Last weekend I reached 700 followers as @mightytinygiant on Twitter, and have decided to celebrate by sharing two things that are important to me. After nearly half a year on hiatus to heal from depression, it’s good to be back. I’m grateful for all the support I’ve received and the messages urging me to take care of myself. The writer is worth more than what they write.

The first thing I’m thrilled to share is this gorgeous portrait of me by the talented and friendly DTV_art. I have admired her work for years, since I first laid eyes on her Tumblr treasure trove of lovely queer Giantess girlfriends and sizeshifter boyfriends and so many gorgeous Giant/tiny moments. Trust me, she is so incredibly skilled and talented and awesome and her work is queer-friendly and romantic AF. I am humbled by the way she took my photograph and translated me into my most femme-tastic witchy woman sizeshifter self. As of this writing, she is still open for commissions!

The second celebratory tidbit I’m sharing with you lovely folks today is one of my favorite pieces of writing, first shared on Tumblr, January 12, 2016. I was struggling then with depression and size dysmorphia, just like I have been this year. I have made huge strides this summer with therapy—thank the Gods for sex-positive, kink-positive, polyam-friendly therapy—and for insurance to help me afford it. More people should have access to that kind of healing.

That support has given me the hope I needed to delve into my feelings about my body and my writing. I’ve been revisiting what I love most about what I’ve written. I’ve been working on befriending my body and accepting that the way she feels large or small may actually be healthy for me, even if it’s not a thing people commonly feel. Commissioning a portrait of myself as a new avatar is part of that work, and I’m grateful for DTV working with me to get it right.

It’s okay to feel small. It’s okay to feel large. It’s okay to take up whatever space you need to take up, in this world. I need this reminder now, as much as I ever have. Maybe you do, too.

 

TAKING UP SPACE

Sometimes when you grow, you’re scared of ruining your clothes or destroying your favorite pair of shoes. Sometimes you’re just scared of how they constrict you, how a necklace could choke you or a beloved coat could trap you like a straight-jacket. But not always.

Sometimes when you grow, shredding through your layers of fabric and fashion feels better than breaking a chain with your bare hands. You’re no longer made for the world of thrift shop jeans or business casual blouses. You can stop worrying if it looks wrong. It belongs to the person you used to be when you still apologized for taking up space.

Small wonder, then, when you stretch your shoulders just to feel the seams tear. When you breathe deeply so the hooks on your bra unbend themselves, unable to hold the glory of your breasts as they grow in size, weight, and consequence. You roll your hips and savor the shredding sound of that pencil skirt you used to love, which has been too small for far too long. It slips to the ground like a memory, followed quickly by the remains of your panties. The lace surrendered by unknitting itself. It wasn’t up to the task of containing the beauty of your other massive assets.

Tearing through the leather on your high heels seems almost obscene, but deep down you offer it like a sacrifice. Your bare feet fill the ground with presence. The crown of your head lifts above the crowd where you walked alone in your smallness.

You feel your own beauty as you never have before. With awe and gratitude and no regrets. You see the world differently and know yourself fully as you grow in all directions, pushing outward, but especially upward.

You have every right to stand tall no matter your size. Breathe deeply in the body that bears your heart, and never apologize again.

Size Dysmorphia: A Sizeshifter Origin Story

A small, pale human figure is shown reclining in a red and pink anatomical depiction of a heart. Veins, arteries, and capillaries twine around the tiny person's arms and legs like tree roots. Artwork credit to Shelia Liu.

Heart, by Shelia Liu[Shared under a Creative Commons Attribution, NonCommercial, NoDerivatives 4.0 License.]

Content warnings: some NSFW artwork and language, discussion of body dysmorphic disorder, gender dysphoria, grief, gun violence, depression, neurodivergence, kink, microphilia, macrophilia, and shame

 

Introduction: arguments with my body

It will come as no surprise to you that I’m sitting at a table in a chair with my feet on the ground, while my hands type comfortably on a laptop. You—and most of the people who know and love me—might be intrigued to know that my senses also tell me I can lift my hand and touch the ceiling with no trouble, because it’s dangerously close to brushing my head.

Would you like me to open the front door, fifteen feet away? It’s within easy reach. Or, at least, that’s the argument my body makes.

My senses agree I’m sitting at the table in the usual way, but they also feed me contradictory information about the walls seeming to close in around me, about how there’s no space for my knees and legs between the table and the wall, no way this chair should be able to support my weight, and no way that my fingers could possibly type on a laptop that feels like a toy for a doll.

If I close my eyes, the sensation intensifies and logic takes a backseat to a kinesthetic awareness of overwhelming size. Some days I feel overwhelming smallness instead, as if everything is huge and heavy and beyond my isolated reach.

Luckily for me, if I open my eyes again, I’m able to use the visual information to combat the strange, contradictory physical information. I concentrate on the evidence of my eyes and wage a war against my kinesthetic senses—the same kind of battle I’ve been fighting quietly since childhood.

In some circles, this experience is known as size dysmorphia: a sense that your body’s size feels larger or smaller than you know it to be.

I know that I stand five feet, two inches tall. I know that my body does not change in size. And yet, it’s as if some ancient part of my brain and body refuse to completely accept this data.

Sometimes it happens without warning, like a radio shifting channels and offering music and static from two different stations. Sometimes I go for days without noticing anything unusual, my broadcast uninterrupted on a steady playlist of “five-foot-two” with no interruptions.

When I feel a sizeshift coming on, sometimes I groan inwardly and grit my teeth. Other times, I try to induce the feeling myself, just for the sheer joy and arousal and exhilaration of it. Few sensations are as empowering as a sense that you stand twice as tall as everyone around you.

Until about three years ago, I refused to tell anyone.

I assumed I would take the secret to my grave.

G/t Erotica Contest: Currents

Photo of a left hand with light brown skin holding a small green leaf. Beyond the hand are rocky stones of a lakeside shore. Beyond that is a calm grey lake with fog obscuring the horizon. Photo credit to Bhai Rankar of Unsplash, shared with a creative commons license: https://unsplash.com/photos/-AqJCy1-Nrc
Photo credit to Bhai Rankar of Unsplash, shared with a creative commons license: unsplash.com/photos/-AqJCy1-Nrc

 

“The characters were rich and they exploded off the page. There was so much emotion in every line, I could feel the writer’s heart pounding behind it.”

I’m proud to share “Currents,” my entry for the WritersOct18 SizeRiot Erotica Contest, hosted by the hardworking and talented Aborigen-gts​.

I’ve never received such overwhelmingly positive feedback for a story, and I’m deeply grateful to my beta readers and everyone who read my work and reviewed it. There seems to be genuine interest in more stories with these characters, so I plan to continue it as a series!

Would you be surprised to know that I nearly didn’t submit it? It’s been a hard few months (work stress, the Kavanaugh hearings, my family’s home flooding in Texas) and I didn’t feel it was my best work. I worried it wasn’t explicitly sexy enough, especially when folks who have followed my blog in the last couple of years know I’m capable of so much more.

I’m glad I took the risk and shared it, anyway. In the interest of cataloging evidence for the next time my Impostor Syndrome tries to talk me out of being creative…

My story placed in the following categories:

Best Fulfilled the ‘Big Couples’ Theme – Tied for First Place
Hooked Immediately – Tied for First Place
Characters to Care About – Tied for First Place
Engaging Writing Style – Second Place
Surprising Interpretation of Theme – Tied for Second Place
Recommended to Outsiders – Tied for Second Place
Most Outré – Tied for Third Place

Read the story here:

Currents

By Elle Largesse

Copyright 2018, MTG Media, LLC, all rights reserved.

Submission for SizeRiot’s Writer’s October 2018 Erotica Contest

Content warnings: Themes include macrophilia/growth, Giant couples, public sex, ethical nonmonogamy, and natural disaster

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to a 14-minute author-read version of the story here.

Originally posted to Tumblr on November 25, 2018.
 

ADULT CONTENT WARNING

This site includes content intended for adults only. Depending on your location, you must be at least 18 or 21 to enter. If you’re under 18 and are seeking sex positive resources, stop reading now and visit scarleteen.com.

The material presented on this website includes kink, BDSM, macrophilia, microphilia, and other adult themes which have been tagged with content warnings as appropriate.

If you’re not interested in any of this please leave this website. Otherwise, welcome!