Tag: First Person POV

Lesbian Love Story: Dare You Not to Grow – Chapter 5

A tiny woman straddles a strawberry as a large hand pats her on the head. She has pink hair in two braids and is nude, showing her breasts and penis, and also has pale skin that is showing her happy blush. Art credit to @_LadyEgg.

Lesbian Love Story: Dare You Not to Grow – Chapter 5

Published by mightytinygiant on February 8, 2023

Hello, my lovelies! There are only two more chapters left in this gentle erotic love story between two sizeshifters at a coffeeshop. They decide to tease and dare each other not to grow while in public. They’re just friends, haha… unless~

In this chapter, Rae gives into more than one desire, and Jess discovers what it means to make love to another sizeshifter.

Skip to the story content section if you want to jump right in. Read Chapter 1 here, Chapter 2 here, Chapter 3 here, and Chapter 4 here.

About This Story

This began as a Kinky Scribble, but I found myself so enamored with the characters and the way they were enamored with each other, that I allowed myself the luxury of months to write and explore. To go more in depth, you know. (Pun intended.)

I was so excited to write this story that I sought out Girl Sex 101 by Allison Moon and K.D. Diamond to better understand and write about the way women have sex. I may have been in more than one relationship with other women, but I also have an inkling of just how much I don’t know. I keep meaning to start blogging my book reviews, but if you’re interested, I kept up a twitter thread with my thoughts on the book and its value to anyone who wants to have sex with women. I found the “Embodied Yes” and “Difficult Conversation Formula” sections especially useful for this story. The pages on techniques for hand sex and oral sex with different kinds of bodies are definitely dog-eared and already well-loved in my house. It’s such a wonderful resource!

Here are some examples with diagrams for any fellow sex geeks out there. I think it’s an especially great resource for my fellow creatives out there, writers and artists alike. Can you tell I love this book?

Graphic showing — Click on the image to zoom in for the diagram details~

Click on the image to zoom in for the diagram details~

Shout Outs

I commissioned art for this story by the lovely LadyEgg. Isn’t it gorgeous and so sweet? Please go follow her and support her on Patreon if you are able! She is lovely to work with, and has been so kind and patient with me on not releasing the art for the five months it took me to finish rewrites and edits.

I’m also thrilled to say that I was able to commission her for a new work of art to celebrate the sixth and final chapter, and she knocked it out of the park. It is sexy and romantic and I can hardly wait to share it with you all!!

In fact, seeing her complete the new artwork in December was one of the things that made me yearn to come back to this story again. Creatives helping creatives is one of my favorite parts of the Size Twitter community.

Here’s a closeup of her original art to enjoy.

I also commissioned a sensitivity read with Ana Valens, a reporter and member of the size kink community. She gave me feedback and additional insight on my pairing between a cisgender woman and a transgender woman. I’m pleased to report that she said it was “incredibly hot and well written,” and that she “utterly adored it.” I’m grateful for her suggested changes and nuance on experiences that hopefully made this story stronger and more true to life for trans women.

When I asked her thoughts on tags for this and for my latest article, “Content Tags: Accessibility, Edgeplay, & Surprise Sex,” she recommended I use either F/f or CF/tf in my gender tags. Though TF is also used for transformation kink, we decided that having it in the slash format would clear that up, and she pointed out that TF is commonly used at places like r/GoneWildAudio and r/GWASapphic. As of this writing, Ana is open for more sensitivity readings on: kinky relationships, lesbian relationships, trans women & trans feminine experiences, and queer friendship.

Friendly reminder: if you seek out a sensitivity reader to help you gain more perspective on your work, please pay or barter with them. Do not ask for free labor on this, even if they are your friend. Perhaps especially so!

Teasers

This story will run for six chapters, ranging from 1200 to 3400 words each, with content tags for each chapter as well as for the story as a whole. I plan to release them weekly. Here’s a teaser for you:

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. Learn more about why and how to use content tags, and browse tags important to the size kink community in my article “Content Tags: Accessibility, Edgeplay, & Surprise Sex.”

I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for this story include:

F/f, CF/tf – Growth, shrinking, gentle, public play, teasing, mention of foot play, mild dissociation, so much sexual tension, a panic attack averted, pocket riding, hand held, romance, feelings, relationship, the L-word, love, licking fingers, kissing, mouth play, food play, chocolate, cake, strawberry, singing, music, handheld, body exploration, panties, cunnilingus, insertion, trans femme masturbation, full-body licks, breast play, aftercare

Tags for Chapter 5 include:

F/f, CF/tf – Growth, gentle, public play, teasing, body exploration, panties, cunnilingus, insertion

Read the story

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

AUDIO VERSION: I am saving up to commission a voice actor to read this story. If you’re as excited by that as I am, please buy me a coffee to help it become a reality sooner!

Size Erotica: If You Could Be a Sex Toy

A person in a black leather miniskirt holds a purple dildo. Text reads If You Could Be A Sex Toy, a size kink transformation fantasy by Elle Largesse. Credit to Dainis Graveris.

Size Erotica: If You Could Be a Sex Toy

Published by mightytinygiant on October 2, 2022

I’m celebrating the start of spooky season by releasing a size kink transformation fantasy! Skip to the story content section if you want to jump right in.

I’m a witch all year round, but I like leaning into it during this time of year. Witches in kinky erotica combine some of my favorite tropes: power exchange, feminine domination, and changes like growth or shrinking without need for explanation. It also opens the door to darker elements, depending on my mood.

I wrote this while on hiatus, intending to release it without edits as a kinky scribble. I kept coming back to it, though, as one of the few things that turned me on during my month-long break. At 5560 words, with three rounds of edits, and five separate orgasms, I have to admit this thing is no longer a scribble. It’s a happy, sexy mess, and it’s time for me to let it go.

I suspect I’ve been hanging onto it out of a vague sense of embarrassment. This “living dildo” kink is one of my classic go-to erotic fantasies, but I don’t see it represented often. I almost used it for Cocktober back in 2019, but was too shy and ended up writing Trick, Treat instead. This kink also tied to one of my early mistakes in the size kink community, so there’s part of me that wants to tuck it in a drawer and pretend I never get off to this, never wrote 5,000 words about how hot I find it, and definitely never made questionable choices because of it. But, as I wrote in the Twitter thread linked above, “BDSM is a skillset, a culture, a language. We need space for people to learn safely AND a place for people to make mistakes to learn.” Hiding this kink because I made a mistake that mortified me doesn’t help anyone. Sharing a whole story instead is one way for me to fight shame and give myself the same grace and acceptance I know we all deserve.

Anyway, I don’t know how much of my size kink audience will be here for a transformation scene like this, but sometimes writing kinky stories is just about having a fantasy that turns you on and leaning into it, just because it feels good. This is what felt good to me. If it’s the kind of thing that feels good to you, too, then I hope you enjoy it!

(If not, well, stick around. I have some more mainstream stories coming soon!)

Oh, and one more note. The “prose poetry orgasms” at the end were a total experiment. Sometimes when I spend a lot of time with mind control kinks, I start thinking more in kinky poetry and less in prose. If it helps, know that I wrote most of that part one-handed~

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have multiple works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. The few donations I get usually go right into commissioning art and paying beta readers. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

Buy me a coffee

Cash App

PayPal Elle Largesse

Story synopsis

Kim convinces her friends to join her at a sex toy party hosted by the richest woman in town, hoping they’ll forget their troubles for one magical night. But as they all find out the hard way, the real magic is the sex toys they become along the way.

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know when I have missed anything important.

Tags for this story include:

Content tags: F/f, shrinking, growing, noncon, mind control, mild bimbofication, mention of spanking, objectification, transformation, genital transformation, lady with a cock, growth of cock and balls, disproportionate growth, living dildo, mild humiliation, helplessness, worship, and prose poetry orgasms

Read the story

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

AUDIO VERSION: I do not currently have plans to record audio for this story. If I get enough requests, however, I will reconsider.

Size Erotica: Woman, in Ecstasy, Chapter 5

Render art by @pseudo_size of a giantess growing inside a glass room in a museum, while two smaller people look on from outside. A man stands at the controls, and a woman holds a towel closed while smirking down at the giantess, who looks very aroused and has her hand up as if begging. Her breasts are expanding at enormous sizes. The text reads Woman, in Ecstasy, Chapter 5, an erotic size-kink story by Elle Largesse, with audio.

Size Erotica: Woman, in Ecstasy, Chapter 5

Published by mightytinygiant on July 23, 2022

“Woman, in Ecstasy” follows the story of a woman on a date with her boyfriend at a museum of sex. He convinces her to volunteer as part of a kinky art installation, where she grows, shrinks, and becomes a horny slut at the mercy of strangers—one of whom has eyes on her boyfriend. Read Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, and Chapter 4.

In this final chapter, Lisa gives Noelle a gift before taking her new toy on the kinkiest ride of her life.

I’ve unveiled this story in five chapters, each one lewder than the last. I’m proud to be able to offer author-read audio for each installment. This is a way to ensure increased accessibility for members of the kink community who use screen readers, and adds some extra sexiness for my fellow audiophiles. All told for this series, I’ve recorded 105 minutes, or about 1.75 hours of free erotic audio!

Scroll to the story content section if you want to jump right to the story.

Topic & timing

If you want to know why I’ve written a story about a woman losing her agency, and why the hell a self-respecting feminist would choose this particular moment to release it, I answer those questions and more in a kinky blog post: Embracing My Inner Size Slut. Topics include a discussion of agency, bodily autonomy; nonconsensual themes in size play, hypnosis, mind control and bimbofication; mentions of trauma and sexual assault, and resources for survivors.

We really need to take care of each other and ourselves right now. Be gentle with yourself. Set boundaries. Figure out how your body in particular asks you for different kinds of rest, like mental downtime or peace and quiet. The most important thing is to listen to your body and decide what’s right for you. Maybe that’s reading/listening to this story today. Maybe it’s waiting for a day when you have more energy or fewer responsibilities. (Or when you’re just really horny!) After all, no matter how much we fantasize otherwise, you’re the only one who can decide what’s right for you.

Artwork & shout-outs

I’m thrilled and deeply grateful to @pseudo_size for creating this GORGEOUS and sexy render art of one of my favorite moments in the story.

It’s no exaggeration to say that this story would not be what it is without pseudo and his help. His skill and empathy in beta reading, his insight into character development, story arcs, strengths and vulnerabilities, all of it helped me tell the story I was trying to tell.

Please go check out his art and writing, including a new story he began sharing for Pride Month, Holding Space. He’s released the final chapter and it’s one of the sexiest stories I’ve ever read in the size kink community.

Story inspirations

Inspiration for this story comes partly from a place that’s been on my bucket list for years, The Vagina Museum. It’s hardly the only museum of sex, but it is the world’s first bricks-and-mortar museum “dedicated to the gynaecological anatomy.” Learn how to support their work in my introduction to Chapter 1 (and discover why I’ve chosen to depict nonprofits in this way).

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have twelve works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

If you enjoy this story and want to see/hear more like it, the best way to do that is to support me financially. (The second best way is to boost the signal on my stories and encourage your friends to support me, too.) Thanks, y’all!

Buy me a coffee

Cash App

PayPal Elle Largesse

Story content

Tags for the story overall will include:

F/m/f, f/M/F, f/F – (shrinking, growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, hypnosis, begging, orgasm denial, jealousy, cuckolding, BDSM, voyeurism, masturbation, entrapment, claustrophobia mention, licking, sucking on fingers and feet, kisses, insertion, cunnilingus, penetration, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

Tags for this chapter in particular include:

f/M/F – (shrinking, public play, exhibitionism, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, hypnosis, begging, orgasm denial, cuckolding, BDSM, voyeurism, masturbation, entrapment, licking, sucking on fingers and feet, kisses, insertion, cunnilingus, penetration, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

A note on the hypnosis: seriously, I DO NOT recommend driving while listening. I don’t know if it will be as powerful for you as it has been for me, but I literally put myself into a subspace trance multiple times while writing and editing—and I’m honestly not sure what will happen as I read this aloud for you. Either way, I suspect we’ll both have fun~

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to a 24-minute author-read version of the story here. Do not listen while driving.

NOTE ABOUT THE AUDIO: please be gentle with me! This is a very enthusiastic reading, but an imperfect one. Turns out, reading smut where I force a character to get so turned on she loses her words… has an interesting effect on my ability to read her part.

I had limited time to read this chapter in a single take, and while I did my best in Audacity to edit my worst stumbles in the sound clip, there were several others I left in. And some of the edits sound like, well, edits. I’m not going to let perfection impede the publication of this story any longer. Consider it added realism for Noelle’s descent into sluthood!

You may notice the audio quality itself improved this time. Thanks to @Giant_Micro for his tips on DIY pop filters. If you’d like to help me buy a bonafide mic and a pop filter to make the sound quality better for future recordings, or if you’d like to help me pay for audio engineering from a community member with experience, I’d welcome donations of any size.

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

Size Erotica: Woman, in Ecstasy, Chapter 3

Published by mightytinygiant on July 9, 2022

In Chapter 3, Noelle grows in more ways than one as she lets go of her stress and focuses on what matters most, like doing whatever it takes to be fucked to climax.

I’ll be unveiling this story in five chapters, each one lewder than the last. I’m proud to be able to offer author-read audio for each installment. This is a way to ensure increased accessibility for members of the kink community who use screen readers, and adds some extra sexiness for my fellow audiophiles.

Scroll to the story content section if you want to jump right to the story.

Topic & timing

This section grew (heh) into its own kinky blog post, which you can read in full here: Embracing My Inner Size Slut.

(Discussion of agency, bodily autonomy; nonconsensual themes in size play, hypnosis, mind control and bimbofication; mentions of trauma and resources for survivors of sexual assault.)

Why am I writing a story about a woman losing her agency? Why am I releasing it right now?

The short answer is that I began writing this back in April, and it’s done, and I want to share it.

The medium answer? My body responds to fantasies about giving up control, especially when I’m stressed. I’m far from alone in this. Many people have fantasies about someone forcing them to do the sexy things they find most arousing. My first kink-informed therapist told me that she believed “it’s a way to give ourselves permission to explore pleasures that society tells us are taboo.”

In recent months, I’ve been stressing a lot about bodily autonomy. Sometimes we want to avoid stressful topics when we explore erotic things. Other times, it feels really good to use stressful topics in erotic ways, to process our feelings and reclaim a sense of agency.

True, it’s ironic I’m reaffirming my agency by writing a story eroticizing a loss of control and bodily autonomy… but it’s still my choice. I wrote this story on my terms, to explore these themes in ways that feel really good to me. (Literally, each time I had to make a decision about where to take the story, I chose the option that turned my body on the most.) I’m releasing the story now in the hopes that if someone else out there needs to process stress in this way too, it’s here.

I’ve written about this elsewhere, but it’s worth repeating what I learned from her:

Having fantasies where sex acts are forced on you or others does not mean you want to act on them in real life, or that you do not understand trauma or lack compassion for survivors of violence. It means your body responds to a fantasy, and you get to decide what you want to do with that information. We are not our thoughts, and we are not our fantasies. Some survivors find healing and liberation through exploration of noncon fantasies, and that’s okay. Some never want to interact with these themes again, and that’s okay too. As long as every real person involved in your fantasy play (such as you reading my story online) is a fully informed consenting adult, then the act you are participating in is inherently consensual.

A fantasy that I have for myself, or that I share with my consenting partner, is inherently consensual. That’s true even if the topic of the fantasy is pretending that I’m being forced against my will. If I fantasize that a Giant picks me up and shoves me in her panties without asking first, I am consenting to my own fantasy. If I explain my fantasy and ask my partner to roleplay that with me and they say yes, they are consenting to my fantasy. All the real people involved are able to say no and stop the fantasy at any point.

For the record. Beyond the realm of fantasy, I do not condone sex acts without consent. Erotic fantasy play between two individuals in reality in person and online should always include negotiation, fully informed consent, and protections such as content tags, safewords, aftercare, and emergency planning.

If you or anyone you know has experienced sexual harassment, trauma, abuse, or assault, I strongly suggest seeking advice and counseling from trained professionals. These are usually free and confidential. See my blog post for a full list of resources for survivors.

We really need to take care of each other and ourselves right now. Be gentle with yourself. Set boundaries. Figure out how your body in particular asks you for different kinds of rest, like mental downtime or peace and quiet. Find ways to listen. If your brain and body don’t feel good about reading this story right now—if “all parts of yourself don’t consent to exploring this today” like my EMDR therapist would put it—then it’s okay to say no. You can come back later and see if your brain and body give you a different answer on a different day. It’s okay if it stays a no.

The most important thing is to listen to your body and decide what’s right for you. After all, no matter how much we fantasize otherwise, you’re the only one who can decide what’s right for you.

Artwork & shout-outs

I’m thrilled and deeply grateful to @pseudo_size for creating this GORGEOUS and sexy render art of one of my favorite moments in the story.

Please go check out his art and writing, including a new story he began sharing for Pride Month, Holding Space. It’s one of the sexiest stories I’ve ever read in the size kink community.

Story inspirations

Inspiration for this story comes partly from a place that’s been on my bucket list for years, The Vagina Museum. It’s hardly the only museum of sex, but it is the world’s first bricks-and-mortar museum “dedicated to the gynaecological anatomy.” Learn how to support their work in my introduction to Chapter 1 (and discover why I’ve chosen to depict nonprofits in this way).

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have twelve works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

Buy me a coffee

Cash App

PayPal Elle Largesse

Story content

Tags for the story overall will include:

Tags for this chapter in particular include:

F/m/f, f/M/F – (shrinking, growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, humiliation, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, begging, orgasm denial, cuckolding, BDSM, entrapment, claustrophobia mention, and “bigger on the inside” magic for fucking tinies.)

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to an 18-minute author-read version of the story here.

I recorded this audio in a single take, and this is my first time editing my own audio, so please go easy on me. If you’d like to help me buy a bonafide mic and a pop filter to make the sound quality better for future recordings, I’d welcome donations of any size.

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

Size Erotica: Woman, in Ecstasy, Chapter 2

Published by mightytinygiant on July 2, 2022

In Chapter 2, Noelle learns the hard way about arousal, inhibitions, and the importance of asking for what you want during sex. Or in her case, during sexually explicit interactive art.

Scroll to the story content section if you want to jump right to the story.

Artwork & shout-outs

I’m thrilled and deeply grateful to @pseudo_size for creating this GORGEOUS and sexy render art of one of my favorite moments in the story.

Please go check out his art and writing, including a new story he began sharing for Pride Month, Holding Space. It’s one of the sexiest stories I’ve ever read in the size kink community.

Story inspirations

Inspiration for this story comes partly from a place that’s been on my bucket list for years, The Vagina Museum. It’s hardly the only museum of sex, but it is the world’s first bricks-and-mortar museum “dedicated to the gynaecological anatomy.” Learn how to support their work in my introduction to Chapter 1 (and discover why I’ve chosen to depict nonprofits in this way).

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have twelve works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

Buy me a coffee

Cash App

PayPal Elle Largesse

Story content

Tags for the story overall will include:

Tags for this chapter in particular include:

F/m/f – (growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, begging, jealousy, cuckolding, BDSM)

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to a 19-minute author-read version of the story here.

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

Size Erotica: Woman, in Ecstasy

Published by mightytinygiant on June 26, 2022

I am immensely proud of this story. I began it in early April as a Kinky Scribble and have worked on it for the last three months as a form of both escapism and conversely, as a way to learn more about myself. It helped me to explore my sexuality. What do I find erotic? Why? What does that say about me? Leaning into those questions has taken me on a ride this year. It’s been healing and exciting, and really, really kinky.

Scroll to the story content section if you want to jump right to the story.

Artwork & shout-outs

I’m thrilled and deeply grateful to @pseudo_size for creating this GORGEOUS and sexy render art of one of my favorite moments in the story.

Please go check out his art and writing, including a new story he’s sharing for Pride Month, Holding Space. It’s one of the sexiest stories I’ve ever read in the size kink community.

Story inspirations

Inspiration for this story comes partly from a place that’s been on my bucket list for years, The Vagina Museum. It’s hardly the only museum of sex, but it is the world’s first bricks-and-mortar museum “dedicated to the gynaecological anatomy.” They have a snarky, outrageous, and fascinating Twitter account. They have a podcast covering topics like “Muff Busters: Vagina Myths.” Their gift shop is full of awesome vagina and vulva stuff, from bags and flags to art prints, jewelry and menstrual products. They’re doing vital, groundbreaking work, and they’re doing it for free because they believe in access for all to this kind of education. They nearly went under during the start of the pandemic due to some patriarchal, sex-shaming bullshit, so please consider supporting them if you’re able. (And if you want to buy my polycule and me a plane ticket to the UK to cross this off my bucket list, here’s my PayPal!)

The Vagina Museum first introduced me to the particular piece of shunga art mentioned in this story. Yes, in 1827 one of Japan’s most successful ukiyo-e woodblock artists, Utagawa Kunisada, really did create a work of erotic art where a giant vagina blasts sunshine at two tiny people. And if you’re into hypercocks, “genital exaggeration” is a common feature of shunga. You’re welcome.

All of the more fucked-up representations of nonprofit culture depicted in this story were inspired by my own experience in the nonprofit world here in Texas, where people who care a lot about good causes find themselves doing more and more desperate things for basic survival during the throes of late-stage capitalism. If you care about nonprofit work, I’d encourage you to follow Vu Le of Nonprofit AF, who is leading the charge against crappy funding practices with snarky, honest responses to philanthropists and salary disclosure with a side of sarcastic unicorns. My point is that nonprofits are desperate, now more than ever, and systemic inequities are causing people and orgs to become versions of themselves they cannot hope to sustain. All of which is to say, I’m certain that the badass folks at the Vagina Museum would never keep an exhibit like the one I fantasized about. But if they ever did, and if they were ever taking volunteers… you know, just for a day…

Support the author

Money is tight right now. I have twelve works of fiction in progress, ranging from wholesome to kinky as fuck. I’d like to continue releasing them here for free.

Buy me a coffee

Cash App

PayPal Elle Largesse

Story content

Tagging is the only way I know for people online to be able to opt in or out of a sexual experience with fully informed consent. I welcome help in tagging—please let me know if I have missed anything important.

Tags for the story overall will include:

Tags for this chapter in particular include:

F/m/f – (shrinking, growth, public play, exhibitionism, breast & ass expansion, objectification, dubcon/noncon, mind control, intelligence play/bimbofication, orgasm denial, BDSM, entrapment, claustrophobia mention)

Read the story

AUDIO VERSION: Listen to a 21-minute author-read version of the story here.

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

Kinky Scribble: What Happens Next

Published by mightytinygiant on August 22, 2020

Person holding a red pomelo fruit. Two fingers are pushed inside suggestively. — Photo by Taras Chernus on Unsplash, shared with a Creative Commons License.

Kinky Scribble installment seven! If you’re here for the sexy times, skip to the “read more.” Otherwise, continue below for an update on my inspiration for this story, why this is my first scribble in six months, and my hypothesis for why the sexy words finally, finally came. (Pun intended.)

Update! This story now has author-read audio. Enjoy~

Inspiration & Responsive vs Spontaneous Sexual Desire

On the surface, my inspiration for this story would seem to originate with this tweet and this tweet. If you ask to go deeper (please, deeper, harder) then I will share with you that the inspiration came from one of my first roleplay sessions with the talented @pseudo_size, a fellow polyamorous kink writer who has brought much inspiration to my life this year. You can read more of his work here, including a fantastic dark noncon commission he did for me in July. This weekend when I found myself fantasizing about two of the characters from that first February session, I messaged him privately to explore the concept, and he was very obliging with his response. It left me thirsty for more, in a way I haven’t felt in a long time.

(Content warning for discussion of mental health.) My regular readers know that I’ve been struggling with trauma and a decreased desire for sex a lot this year. I won’t go into that in detail here, but I have learned a lot about the concept of sexual brakes and sexual accelerators, and how arousal works in relation to stress and mental health. My blog post Sexual Brakes, Trauma, & Kink in the Burning 20’s explores how I have used size kink in stress cycle exercises to release stress, fight depression, and find my way back to arousal.

Even with all that hard work and experimentation, in the last six months I have found my own turn-ons to be rooted firmly in responsive desire—when your brain only gets turned on when something sexy is already happening—and in my case, it’s mostly in contexts with people I trust a great deal, like my partners. Pre-pandemic, finding my turn-on for writing erotica was as easy as turning a faucet, most days. Spontaneous and fun. But in the last half year, the faucet has required some creative encouragement to function at all. For example, trying to find my turn-on for a sex scene in SizeRiot’s HistoricalJuly20 contest required patience, tremendous effort, and a lot of trial and error. It was a mental puzzle, not a physical inspiration.

So how the hell did I wake up Saturday morning spontaneously fantasizing about sex? After so long, how on earth did I finally feel inspired enough to dash off 1600 words of sensually charged erotica? With no deadline, no contest, no context of a loving partner hoping for my next kiss or my next paragraph?

I’ve only experienced spontaneous sexual desire a few times during the pandemic, and each time came directly after some stressor in my life resolved itself. The work crisis ended with a lucky break. The estranged family member answered my messages. I finally asked for help about something that had me burned out. Within 12-24 hours, each time I found myself experiencing wave after wave of spontaneous arousal. It was as if my body took a deep breath and said, “FINALLY! It’s safe enough for sexy times. Release the arousal!”

A door in my mind opened and erotica came flooding out.

When I shared the story with Pseudo afterward, I blushed hard at his response. “You really turned a quick few sentences about this concept from me into one of the sexiest pieces of size writing I’ve ever read.”

Kinky Scribble recipe & reasoning

A Kinky Scribble is a flash-fiction writing exercise idea I’ve been developing since January 2020, as a tool to break past my anxieties as a writer. Read my past Kinky Scribbles and search the #KinkyScribble tag itself on Twitter.

The strategy is to produce creative content in a short amount of time, give it minimal edits, and then release it into the wild for others to enjoy. My goals are to practice my fiction-writing skills, to produce more content while still reconnecting with the parts of writing I enjoy most, and to re-calibrate my sense of when something is “done enough” to share.

Feel free to join in! Don’t feel obliged to follow my same format of listing my word count and writing/editing times. It’s really useful to me to re-calibrate my time estimates, and to prove to myself that I can make good content in uncomfortably short time frames.

And speaking of comfort zones, I strongly encourage all #KinkyScribble creators to tag their content so that readers can opt in or out with fully informed consent. I’m not perfect about this, but practice has been helping, and I’m committed to doing better in the future.

Kinky Scribble: What Happens Next

(Content includes: F/M/f, Giantess, male Giant, growth, shrinking, worship, threesome, cunnilingus, face sitting, teasing, begging, nonverbal, PIV sex, worship, cock riding, off-screen insertion, polyamory, ethical nonmonogamy)

1657 words; 1.5 hours writing time, 20 minutes of editing in two rounds

Read the story

TEXT VERSION: Read the text version of the story behind the cut.

AUDIO VERSION: Please enjoy this free 15-minute author-read audio file.